SlipperyP Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkant said: I remember my first trip to India and being confronted by a cubicle with a bum gun and no toilet paper/drying capabilities. Just held it in. Not sure what I was supposed to do. Wait there until my ring piece dried off naturally? wet ring at 36, dry by the time you get up stairs. i'm now 49 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Never stripped off for a shite, but I have done when about to vomit, mainly out of desperation that feeling more comfortable might make the whole nightmare go away somehow. It doesn't help. Pretty sure there are folk at my work who shit facing the wall, judging by the number of streaks at the very front of the porcelain. They have slightly longer than standard lavvies too, so you'd really have to work to dirty the front area. Surround by deviants I swear, and not the good kind like me. The thing about raising knees is true. Discovered that when the wean needed a step to ascend to the throne and I got too lazy to move it between visits. The stuff just falls out of you. BTW, WTF is a "bum gun"? Related to kitchen gun? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 1 hour ago, SlipperyP said: wet ring at 36, dry by the time you get up stairs. i'm now 49 That’s a helluva set of stairs. Where they going? Heaven? (if so #ripm9) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipa Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Just now, Melanius Mullarkant said: That’s a helluva set of stairs. Where they going? Heaven? (if so #ripm9) Must have been in Spoons! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 6 minutes ago, Shipa said: Must have been in Spoons! Also explains the lack of shit tickets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crawford Bridge Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 I've never had to buy carpets/flooring before today so I had no idea what I'd be spending. Over £3,000 it's cost me. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 1 hour ago, Crawford Bridge said: I've never had to buy carpets/flooring before today so I had no idea what I'd be spending. Over £3,000 it's cost me. @KnightswoodBear levels of letting us know that your #pad is fucking massive 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 8 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: @KnightswoodBear levels of letting us know that your #pad is fucking massive Maybe he just likes a very deep shag. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkant said: Maybe he just likes a very deep shag. At that price, it's obvious his mrs is a fan of hard wood 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Something something about getting laid. can’t be bothered tbh 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 I fear I will regret asking this, but what is a bum gun? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 3 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said: I fear I will regret asking this, but what is a bum gun? It's a shower hose with spray attachment located next to the WC for the purpose of removing Klingons. An improvised bidet if you will. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 17 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said: I fear I will regret asking this, but what is a bum gun? It's whatever you're brave enough to make it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Stick a hook on the bathroom door so you can take your troosers off when you shite 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) 9 hours ago, Todd_is_God said: I fear I will regret asking this, but what is a bum gun? No word of a lie, when I 1st came to Asia I thought the bum gun was used to clean the toilet bowl of skid marks and the toilet floor in general. It never crossed my mind to wash my arse with it. (And when I say when I 1st came to Asia I mean until I read this thread!) Edited January 18 by hk blues 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Gene Roddenberry and Arthur C Clarke et al due to burn up in the atmosphere today. https://www.livescience.com/space/space-exploration/no-chance-of-a-soft-landing-company-confirms-peregrine-missions-human-remains-wont-reach-the-moon Didn’t realise some of their remains were on board. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 1 hour ago, hk blues said: No word of a lie, when I 1st came to Asia I thought the bum gun was used to clean the toilet bowl of skid marks and the toilet floor in general. It never crossed my mind to wash my arse with it. (And when I say when I 1st came to Asia I mean until I read this thread!) Few years ago, I was just about to use a public toilet and someone else tried to walk in front of me to get in first. I was like 'EH, I'm first pal'. got in the toilet for a number 1 and then grabbed the bum gun and started to scoosh it into the toilet. Finished my pishe but kept on scooshing for a bout 3 minutes, know that c**t was right outside the door. would have sounded like a horse pishing for that length of time. Walked out and just nodded with a polite, needed that. The face on him was marvellous 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 11 hours ago, Bairnardo said: @KnightswoodBear levels of letting us know that your #pad is fucking massive We mostly have luxurious oak floors throughout. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 2 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: We mostly have luxurious oak floors throughout. Lives in a treehouse 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 9 hours ago, SlipperyP said: Lives in a treehouse Woody Woodpecker 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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