ICTChris Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Michael W said: What was he planning on doing with all those turkeys - selling them? Putting them in a gigantic chest freezer at home and having turkey every day for the next four months? I assume he was either going to sell them or f**k them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Just stealing another offices milk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 19 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: What a beautifully long and elaborate gif. Wildy out of proportion with the crime. Well done sir. Its hit all the gif marks for me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbydazzler Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 not an actual rule but an unwritten rule has to be not to put any fish product in the microwave in the canteen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 About a fortnight ago i took down the passive aggressive "office etiquette" poster that the fud committee came up with to address their pet peeves. I am now about to eat lunch at my desk. Later, i might have a non-work related conversation without being mindful of my colleagues. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistledo Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Apparently a few of us broke a no drinking at lunch time rule in a place I worked in. Head of the department walked past as we had a drink outside, stopped and said "alright lads having a wee drink are we" to which I replied "well, a pub lunch, but you fancy a pint anyway?" at that point he said "it's actually against company policy" I kind of looked around and we just carried on drinking and he walked off saying "oh anyway I see nothing" and immediately told all the bosses under him about it the little fucking weasel. It became a well known story that got told, on a night out someone was telling the story to me and some other lads "and this guy actually offered [name] a drink..." It wasn't a big deal, but this little wee man syndrome'd p***k made it one. Anyway, we were all contractors so not much you could do except bin us, but then you'd be losing half the team and the c***s that actually did any work. We were threatened with this, until I asked HR to provide the guidelines on it, which they couldn't and it turns out it was never an official rule. Probably is now I suspect. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 1 hour ago, 19QOS19 said: Not me but the MD at my last job was jailed for embezzling £160,000. Mostly from a service user. Absolute shithole of a company. Surprised that wasn't the end of them tbh but they're still going. My last manager has been sacked since I left as she apparently went into work twice while off duty pished. Not great when there are recovering alcoholics in the place. Another woman was asked to leave after she came in pished and went for a sleep in the sleepover room. A mental health service where the staff were worse off than the patients Doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Care providers that get council contracts/client referrals are fucking leeches. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Ron Aldo said: When I started working in Tesco at 16 my mate (honest) thought that staff were allowed to help themselves to anything on the shelves at break time. He used to come up to the canteen with all sorts of stuff and this went on for weeks before he was told otherwise. Fortunately it wasn't management that pointed it out to him or he'd have been out the door and likely have a shoplifting charge against his name. Worked on the production line years ago at a frozen food gaff who made breakfast packs. Standard practice there to take a few bits of slice and some black pudding off the line when going for lunch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Used frozen chickens as pucks in a cold store I used to work in. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 We're not allowed to accept tips or gifts from service users or their families. The mother of one regularly leaves our team of five a Christmas card (at Xmas, obvs) with £20 in it. We're encouraged to hand it back to her or "declare it" to the company whence it gets punted to a charity. Mine always gets "mislaid". Pile o shite rule. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musketeer Gripweed Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Once put a site agent into a bucket and left him up dangling from a tower crane the week before he got married. It was positively encouraged at the time. Think it might be frowned upon now though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 My workplace continually evolved, aided by Union contracts and societal changes…but the actual momentum for the change was it was a bunch of individuals, with problem solving skills, who constantly found ways to break the current rules… -Started with proper shoes (no trainers), collared shirts and slacks required…started allowing jeans, then slowly trainers and finally tee-shirts…switched back to collared shirts and no trainers…then back to whatever the f**k you like (no direct customer interaction in person, ever, all via radio/phone). At the earlier times, the amount of doctors notes permitting trainers, etc… -No regulations on cell phones until the mid 00’s, then restricted…banned…restricted…and finally mandated off (caused fun when alerts went off and busted those with them on in the pockets). -Couldn’t leave the facility…then one could leave to purchase breakfast/lunch/dinner for all (took cash from each, shows how long ago)…then no one could leave…then you could ask and perhaps go yourself…then you couldn’t leave again…then you were permitted to go for any reason for a reasonable period on break. The guards didn’t give a rats ass, as long as you offered to buy for them too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 6 hours ago, scottsdad said: Recently we had an email come round banning dogs from offices. This affects one guy only, who always brought his dog in. It slept under his desk. He's obeying the rule. However, in my last workplace a similar thing happened, and the guy it affected there just ignored it. He kept bringing his dog in, as he had been bringing his dogs to work for over 20 years. They never made any trouble. Another guy I used to work with would stand at his office window smoking cigars, despite it being a "no smoking" building. So...are there any (petty) workplace rules that you have broken at work? Or any that others are breaking you would like to see enforced? On 25/10/2022 at 08:53, scottsdad said: When I was a teenager a mate of mine had something similar happen. We worked at Somerfield in Alloa, and the practice in the warehouse then was to get a young guy to stand on a pallet, get the forklift to raise it up high, and have the guy stack the pallet from the stock lining the walls whilst standing on it. Completely against health and safety regs (they were supposed to use this massive, moving staircase). My mate stood on a pallet, was hoisted up, and the driver drove forward into the metal shelving. Crushed my mate's pelvis, fracturing it. @TheScarf - he hadn't passed his test. Just been told by the supervisor to get in the truck and start driving. In the end, the shop[ was fined £20k (the maximum fine they could receive) and the manager resigned. You're turning into Zen Archer with this level of patter regurgitation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D Angelo Barksdale Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Worked in a warehouse, so plenty hi jinxs with the forklift. Was on the bins for a while too, everything from minor Health and Safety breaches to fraud there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 21 minutes ago, Herc said: Worked in a warehouse, so plenty hi jinxs with the forklift 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttocks Brown Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 (edited) Not strictly workplace but as a secondary teacher I've noticed that....... A lot of kids have clicked the past few years that if you don't fancy school uniform then there's actually bugger all that the school can do about it. Whole thing's goodwill and, if push came to shove, then you could wear a onesie every day if you really wanted to. I was in my shorts today.... the unofficial staff uniform of dark suit trousers + shirt & tie is not happening this week. Edited June 13, 2023 by Buttocks Brown 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Previous employer eventually upgraded their e-mail and Instant Message services, which allowed users to upload a profile picture, which displayed on all messages sent, in live conversations etc. I had a jaunty wee avatar pic a la P&B for a wee while, but was then informed of the previously unadvised rule that the picture on my profile had to be of me. I amended it to a picture of me aged approx 6 months, only to have the same middle manager arrive at my desk a couple of weeks later to advise that that wasn't acceptable either I just went without a picture from then on, seemed easier. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Used to work on a wee office that helped people in the community. While she was not my boss, the woman in charge was a chancer. Her brother lived in Lanzarote and due to people not wanting to post stuff there/cost of postage, he used to buy loads of stuff on ebay at low prices/things nobody had bid on and get them shipped to our office. Back office, reception and cellar would be filled with parcels for him. Every few months he would fly over on a cheap flight, rip them open and stuff them into suitcases. He would hen go back and sell stuff online in Lanzarote and make a fortune. At one point we had a wide screen TV, a projector screen and tyres for a dune buggy (not sure how he fitted that lot into suitcases). All went well for a few years until the woman had a car accident and was off for a few months. Somebody from the company had to cover for her and reported her for running a business out the premises. She basically got told to resign before she was sacked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said: Previous employer eventually upgraded their e-mail and Instant Message services, which allowed users to upload a profile picture, which displayed on all messages sent, in live conversations etc. I had a jaunty wee avatar pic a la P&B for a wee while, but was then informed of the previously unadvised rule that the picture on my profile had to be of me. I amended it to a picture of me aged approx 6 months, only to have the same middle manager arrive at my desk a couple of weeks later to advise that that wasn't acceptable either I just went without a picture from then on, seemed easier. #1 When advised of an “unadvised” rule, request a copy. #2 When advised of still not complying, you must have missed #1. #3 There is always a flaw/hole/exception to drive a truck through…do so. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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