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Financial arrangements in relationships.


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I was speaking to the mother in law last night about how her stepdaughter is constantly going to them for money despite her husband going on various lads holidays of late and also splashed out on a ford ranger for himself whilst she is having to sell her own car as she can’t afford the running costs. They are around 32 and have been married for 4 years and have a child on the way and it seems fairly evident they don’t share money despite making an oath to share their lives with one another.

As it goes my sister in law is fairly similar, she works part time and looks after the kids more and her partner works full time but doesn’t give her any money if she’s out despite her paying for the car and various other bills in the house. He actually complained at her for saying he’d need to buy the fuel whilst she drives the car on a 500 mile round trip (he never learned to drive) for one of his friends weddings.

 

Is this sort of thing normal? Why get married to someone/live with them and have kids with them and then not have the same financial constraints as one another? 

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15 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

No. Did you get involved with this clan when you were pished? 

No. My gfs mum got remarried and it’s her new husbands daughter who I’m talking about. Her husband actually went to America recently to attend the wedding of someone he’s been playing online games against. 

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13 minutes ago, throbber said:

No. My gfs mum got remarried and it’s her new husbands daughter who I’m talking about. Her husband actually went to America recently to attend the wedding of someone he’s been playing online games against. 

Holy shit.

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6 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

Holy shit.

You can say that again. He’s due to be a father in December. Another couple I assumed were going in the right direction until I started hearing that nonsense.

3 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

Way to make me feel bad m8.

I don’t think it’s much of an excuse either tbh, he hasn’t ever made an effort and he’s 33. He doesn’t blatantly take the pies out his partner but don’t think he sees any issue with their money being separate despite her doing the majority of the running about for the kids.

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Just now, Loonytoons said:

It's her step daughter and it's the father giving the cash, would be my guess.

Yeah this is it - my mother in law got remarried. I think he sent his daughter a fairly abrupt message asking why her husband doesn’t earn enough and then didn’t hear back. 

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4 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

It's her step daughter and it's the father giving the cash, would be my guess.

Still odd to continually give cash to a couple who are clearly comfortably off. 

She should be telling her step daughter to have a word with her husband before going cap in hand to anyone else.

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Two separate accounts for us both roughly same wages, split bills, if we need to stick money away for something she'll give me her share and I'll keep it in a separate account

On subject of driving, i dont, never learned, never liked it when i started lessons and tbh im now probably more cautious (shit scared really) of getting behind a wheel, she does and we have a car obviously which I'll happily help towards but not that bothered about lifts etc, been using public transport all my life so never bothers me (plus having that "me" time between house and work and vice versa is a godsend mentally) 

 

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2 minutes ago, 54_and_counting said:

Two separate accounts for us both roughly same wages, split bills, if we need to stick money away for something she'll give me her share and I'll keep it in a separate account

On subject of driving, i dont, never learned, never liked it when i started lessons and tbh im now probably more cautious (shit scared really) of getting behind a wheel, she does and we have a car obviously which I'll happily help towards but not that bothered about lifts etc, been using public transport all my life so never bothers me (plus having that "me" time between house and work and vice versa is a godsend mentally) 

 

 

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3 minutes ago, 101 said:

Still odd to continually give cash to a couple who are clearly comfortably off. 

She should be telling her step daughter to have a word with her husband before going cap in hand to anyone else.

I don’t know if they are comfortably off though or what their set up is if she’s having to go to her dad for money. The husband has a dead end job by sound of it and the ford ranger and trip to America don’t seem to make any sense.

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3 minutes ago, throbber said:

I don’t know if they are comfortably off though or what their set up is if she’s having to go to her dad for money. The husband has a dead end job by sound of it and the ford ranger and trip to America don’t seem to make any sense.

Drugs.

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