Sergeant Wilson Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 3 minutes ago, throbber said: I don’t know him well enough but could be. His parents are in the military though and he seems pretty square. Relationships are all about knowing a mug when you see one 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Separate accounts, other than the mortgage. She works 1 day a week and looks after the boy full time. I pay for pretty much everything, and happily send her whatever money she needs for anything else that comes up. The relationship described in the op sounds absolutely fucking dysfunctional and absolutely a divorce in the post. Let us know when it happens so someone else can get a shot at trying to mug the stupid c***s off. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
54_and_counting Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 38 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Well id be a train w****r if the fuckers wouldn't strike anytime they canny be arsed working c***s giving the french air traffic control a run for their money -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob in Denny Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 My money is hers, her money is hers, simples... Seriously, everything is each others.... I was a biker in earlier years then became a cyclist at 59... never ever got round to sitting my driving test.. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ned Nederlander Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 (edited) We got a joint account when we got a mortgage - it seems bizarre to me that there are married couples who don't! I know of a couple where the fella hadn't changed what he put into the 'spending' account in years and his partner ran up a humongous credit card bill just trying to run the house cause she was shit scared to ask him to up his contribution! He cleared the bill with spare cash he had sploshing around in his own account ... and now she fucking owes him it!! Absolutely fucking mental!! Edited October 8, 2023 by Ned Nederlander 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parsforlife Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 A joint account for the essentials makes sense but I think each having there own money to spend how they like also helps, you absolutely don’t want a ‘how come you spend £3 in the shop last week’ scenario 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 We have our own bank accounts and just split bills between us. We have a joint account for some bills that we pay money into. I pay for most stuff as I earn more and work full time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
54_and_counting Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 3 minutes ago, Ned Nederlander said: We got a joint account when we got a mortgage - it seems bizarre to me that there are married couples who don't! I know of a couple where the fella hadn't changed what he put into the 'spending' account in years and his partner ran up a humongous credit card bill just trying to run the house cause she was shit scared to ask him to up his contribution! He cleared the bill with spare cash he had sploshing around in his own account ... and now she fucking owes him it!! Absolutely fucking mental!! Nah that's wild We rent now but dont have joint accounts because we never needed it tbh, I usually have spare cash sitting in my account but thats cause im more reserved with my dough (and she knows I'll happily give her a few bob at the end of the month if she needs it for something unplanned etc) Most of the bills are in my name as well so she gives me her share and potters on for the month, I couldn't imagine me sitting with a pot of cash while she's skint, even if she's spent her cash on shite I'll always give her more, if she's happy then its a fucking easier life for me lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UsedToGoToCentralPark Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Separate accounts here, I pay all the bills apart from most of the shopping. We can then spend what's left on whatever we want out of our own accounts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael W Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 (edited) How people choose to run their finances is their own business, but the relationship described in the original post sounds like an abusive one and the lady needs to escape it. We have a joint account for the mortgage and most the direct debits, which is paid into proportionately by salary. I earn more, so pick up most of the other spend; the rest is our own money. Edited October 8, 2023 by Michael W 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 We Both have separate accounts, the wife also has accounts set up for household bills, and one for holidays. We split the household bill money probably around 60-40% as i earn a wee bit more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Reads as though Mr Stepdaughter doesn't see himself being around in the long term, and certainly doesn't see himself in a partnership. The worst part is that there's a kid on the way. He already doesn't spend HIS money on family. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 8, 2023 Author Share Posted October 8, 2023 12 minutes ago, BFTD said: Reads as though Mr Stepdaughter doesn't see himself being around in the long term, and certainly doesn't see himself in a partnership. The worst part is that there's a kid on the way. He already doesn't spend HIS money on family. They have been married for 4.5 years and I haven’t heard of any dramas until this nonsense but you could be right. It could be an abusive relationship or they could both be at it for all I know. Me and mrs don’t have joint account, when we were applying for a mortgage they asked about the money I was spending on William hill and my mrs asked to see my bank statements for a while which wasn’t much fun if I’m honest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Play Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 I’ve never quite understood how a couple can use only one joint cheque account and one joint savings account. What if you want to buy your partner a Christmas / birthday gift? Would it not spoil the surprise when they see a Cartier or Rolex boutique debit on your joint internet banking statement? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oystercatcher Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 I pay the bills and contribute to the mortgage. My wife pays the majority of the mortgage. It works out equally as a % of what we earn. I'm self employed so cash flow can fluctuate We both pay into a shared account every month that goes towards big purchases for the house. It works for us. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 3 hours ago, throbber said: His mum died in a car crash when he was a child. Could she not drive either? 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 8, 2023 Author Share Posted October 8, 2023 3 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Could she not drive either? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 18 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Could she not drive either? Oh dear. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 1 hour ago, Shadow Play said: I’ve never quite understood how a couple can use only one joint cheque account and one joint savings account. What if you want to buy your bit on the side a Christmas / birthday gift? Would it not spoil the surprise when they see a Cartier or Rolex boutique debit on your joint internet banking statement? FTFY 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Been through three serious relationships that required financial entanglement: Mrs a-p mkI insisted on a joint account. 20 years ago I was paying £1750/month into a f**k knows what blackhole. Think I was getting robbed blind. When that marriage went south I had a great time by contributing to three households by paying maintenance (I still don’t know why, our boy spent his time 50/50 between us), running my own house and then also helping out with the household of the young lady I had started entertaining. That young lady and I ended up going our separate ways and suddenly my finances improved dramatically. And now that the boy is grown up, I’m free of maintenance and Mrs a-p Mk.II pulls her own wage. Yay!! Pre-Covid we kinda split spending ad hoc. Once Covid came, I became the designated shopper. Now we (I) have insisted on an end of month reconciliation of household spend and I ask for half back which she’s on board with. Including her Amazon spend on makeup and shit like that. tl.dr: I’m a mug*. Spoiler *but life’s too short. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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