BFTD Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tree house tam Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 (edited) On 19/11/2023 at 18:39, Ross. said: When I tell folk I work in finance and live in Switzerland, it sounds a lot fucking dreamier than it is. Just say you money launder for Italians, it's really not that far from the truth. Edit: I see some have replied basically saying the same, should have read the fucking thread!!! Anyway my aim is to purchase one of these and plod about ripping off tourists. Edited November 22, 2023 by tree house tam 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 From the 11th December, I’d like to be the guy that dishes out £100 fines for parking on the pavement in East Dunbartonshire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 5 minutes ago, mathematics said: From the 11th December, I’d like to be the guy that dishes out £100 fines for parking on the pavement in East Dunbartonshire. I'd get the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis in a job like that. Pulling smug Bateman faces while some entitled roaster rages about being caught doing something they knew they shouldn't. Delicious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 Fisher & Donaldson fudge doughnut QC. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 3 minutes ago, Derry Alli said: Fisher & Donaldson fudge doughnut QC. Back of the fucking queue, sunshine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Back of the fucking queue, sunshine. Greenes in Ellon have about 100 in. I've just had 1 and I'm fucked. Contemplating going back though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 9 minutes ago, Derry Alli said: Greenes in Ellon have about 100 in. I've just had 1 and I'm fucked. Contemplating going back though. Get yer fat arse back in there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 2 hours ago, BFTD said: I'd get the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis in a job like that. Pulling smug Bateman faces while some entitled roaster rages about being caught doing something they knew they shouldn't. Delicious. Worth it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 12 hours ago, BFTD said: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination. I know a guy who did this. When I was in Sweden, another student had done this as a summer job on horses. He said they sprayed a leather pad with pheromones, and walked the horse in to a cage with its nose up against the pad. Close the gate, put on a glove, grab a bucket and away you go. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 10 minutes ago, scottsdad said: I know a guy who did this. When I was in Sweden, another student had done this as a summer job on horses. He said they sprayed a leather pad with pheromones, and walked the horse in to a cage with its nose up against the pad. Close the gate, put on a glove, grab a bucket and away you go. This has reminded me of one of the Jackass films, so thanks for that Lassie I used to know admitted that she'd go with her pal when she groomed her horse because her friend would let her wash his willy. We all have our own interests in life, I suppose. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 I never had any realistic goals when i was young and always assumed i would walk into any line of work and land on my feet. Had a couple of false starts but eventually fell into the construction industry which is where i will remain until death probably. I wouldn’t have said i am a million miles off having a dream job within the parameters i have set myself in life - i get to work on my own mostly but i can roam about chatting to who i want all the time, get to drive from site to site. get plenty fresh air and exercise, can show up to work not giving a f**k and nobody will even notice whilst making l very good money for the work i actually do. I do still get the constant feeling that i’m wasting my life though and that i’m entirely uninterested in what i do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 Photographer for Bravissimo would probably be the best I could think of. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 7 hours ago, throbber said: I never had any realistic goals when i was young and always assumed i would walk into any line of work and land on my feet. Had a couple of false starts but eventually fell into the construction industry one of yours? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 29, 2023 Share Posted November 29, 2023 A type of Donny 'Bear Jew' Donowitz character that travels the country / world and does very bad things to people who partake in acts of animal cruelty. That said, from a job longevity perspective this would require some legislative change (especially the parts outlawing bludgeoning, even if just occasional) and it looks like there would be a few hoops to jump through. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelly Posted November 29, 2023 Share Posted November 29, 2023 Pro snooker player or golfer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted November 29, 2023 Share Posted November 29, 2023 On 22/11/2023 at 14:50, scottsdad said: I know a guy who did this. When I was in Sweden, another student had done this as a summer job on horses. He said they sprayed a leather pad with pheromones, and walked the horse in to a cage with its nose up against the pad. Close the gate, put on a glove, grab a bucket and away you go. On 22/11/2023 at 15:09, BFTD said: This has reminded me of one of the Jackass films, so thanks for that Lassie I used to know admitted that she'd go with her pal when she groomed her horse because her friend would let her wash his willy. We all have our own interests in life, I suppose. I worked at one of the off site Airport car parks while a student and they had a failed police dog, a German Shepherd - a certifiable psychopath, yer XL bullies had nothing on him - that they'd let run about at night to deter the local scallywags from Linwood taking too keen an interest in working out how to scale the perimeter fence. One of the old boys that was a shift manager would go down to its kennel after dark and w**k it off once a week when he was on the night shift. He was the only guy on site whose throat was safe from being ripped out in the dead of night. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted November 30, 2023 Share Posted November 30, 2023 16 hours ago, alta-pete said: I worked at one of the off site Airport car parks while a student and they had a failed police dog, a German Shepherd - a certifiable psychopath, yer XL bullies had nothing on him - that they'd let run about at night to deter the local scallywags from Linwood taking too keen an interest in working out how to scale the perimeter fence. One of the old boys that was a shift manager would go down to its kennel after dark and w**k it off once a week when he was on the night shift. He was the only guy on site whose throat was safe from being ripped out in the dead of night. It was you, wasn't it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Green Posted November 30, 2023 Share Posted November 30, 2023 On 22/11/2023 at 15:09, BFTD said: Lassie I used to know admitted that she'd go with her pal when she groomed her horse because her friend would let her wash his willy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted November 30, 2023 Share Posted November 30, 2023 Okay, can we please stop typing about beasting animals. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.