DiegoDiego Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 I once bought a cookbook called something like “Dinner in 20 minutes or less” with the tag line “Perfect for busy people”. Great, thinks I. In from work at 5:45, 20 minutes to make dinner, 10 minutes to eat it, shit, shower, shave and I can be in the pub by 6:45. I didn’t realise until I went to use it that the “20 minutes” was assuming you’d already peeled, chopped and cooked the vegetables. And that you had cooked rice/potatoes/meat on hand. So as long as you’d already done the 1-2 hours of prep work, it only took 20 minutes to make. How is it taking you more than twenty minutes to cook some rice? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 (edited) When folk whinge by saying "I put food out for the birds but the crows (or pigeons) came along and ate it all" So the birds ate your bird food? Sounds like a fairly successful project to me. Edited September 25, 2020 by Hedgecutter sp. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Szamo's_Ammo Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Dogs moving to their "forever home". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 (edited) On 24/09/2020 at 16:47, Shotgun said: That or people who offer to help but don't really mean it. They just want to look good by offering. "That would be great, thanks!" "Oh...uh, well right. I'll need to make sure I'm free of course. I'll let you know." I find it hard not to ask if friends need help when they say they're moving house, instantly regret it and offer up some some just remembered excuse why I can't. I am that person. Edited September 25, 2020 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 1 hour ago, welshbairn said: I am that person. Yeah, it was you I was thinking of when I wrote that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 I bought this diary last year in the hope this would be the year I really would get my shit together. That worked out well... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 5 hours ago, tamthebam said: I bought this diary last year in the hope this would be the year I really would get my shit together. That worked out well... COVID-19 was God’s reaction to you buying that shite. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 Got to the pub at 17:30, ordered a drink online as soon as we sat down and still haven’t got it at 18:15.Deserve everything I get for going for a pint in the west end tbf. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 What an absolute waste of time going to a pub. Much better at home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipa Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 Tbf, if he was at home and ordered a pint at 17.30, he'd probably still be waiting on it too (if not wearing it!!) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 Tbf, if he was at home and ordered a pint at 17.30, he'd probably still be waiting on it too (if not wearing it!!)Christ, how many stairs do you think the average house has? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 Checks Saturdays results.. Yup, seems about right. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipa Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, smpar said: Christ, how many stairs do you think the average house has? Was thinking of you ordering the missus to get you a pint! ETA No idea if you have a missus or not, just a bit of fun. Edited September 26, 2020 by Shipa 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludo*1 Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 This might have been implemented years ago but I'm only noticing it now... ads on Twitter videos. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 These non-maskers are beginning to get on my tits. 95 percent of us are making an effort. I can see a confrontation coming... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted September 26, 2020 Share Posted September 26, 2020 These non-maskers are beginning to get on my tits. 95 percent of us are making an effort. I can see a confrontation coming... Non-mask-wearers seem to be the most utterly despicable, pot-bellied, gammon-faced, Daily Mail-reading, Brexit-voting wanks who rhyme off things like “98% survival rate” without any credible backup to their recycled nonsense. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 27, 2020 Share Posted September 27, 2020 7 hours ago, smpar said: Non-mask-wearers seem to be the most utterly despicable, pot-bellied, gammon-faced, Daily Mail-reading, Brexit-voting wanks who rhyme off things like “98% survival rate” without any credible backup to their recycled nonsense. I've just had a look at the total cases and deaths of Australia, USA, Brazil and Russia and a quick bit of mental arithmetic looks like all those death rates come in about 2-3%. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted September 27, 2020 Share Posted September 27, 2020 I was assembling some Argos furniture units for the daughters new bedroom at evenings I got in from work last week and the final unit was a small bedside table that should have taken about half an hour to make and I saved the easiest til last. However, the back panel that is supposed to be nailed to the unfinished rough side somehow ended up getting nailed to the front of the unit. Taking out the wee tacks is an absolute nightmare as well as they’re too small for a claw hammer but I was able to remove all 20 of them using nail clippers and managed to finish the unit off inside 2 hours but the face of it is full of wee holes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 27, 2020 Share Posted September 27, 2020 57 minutes ago, throbber said: I was assembling some Argos furniture units for the daughters new bedroom at evenings I got in from work last week and the final unit was a small bedside table that should have taken about half an hour to make and I saved the easiest til last. However, the back panel that is supposed to be nailed to the unfinished rough side somehow ended up getting nailed to the front of the unit. Taking out the wee tacks is an absolute nightmare as well as they’re too small for a claw hammer but I was able to remove all 20 of them using nail clippers and managed to finish the unit off inside 2 hours but the face of it is full of wee holes. Calling cards of morons thread for this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted September 27, 2020 Share Posted September 27, 2020 5 minutes ago, coprolite said: Calling cards of morons thread for this Pretty much deserved. I had a very long and stressful day in my defence. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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