Florentine_Pogen Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 51 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Papercut straight across the biometric finger the night before holiday. God damn it. "The Biometric Finger" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 "Biometric Finger" is definitely slang, but I'm afraid to ask. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 5 hours ago, Salt n Vinegar said: Can something be the "very" finest? Only if it's quite unique. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Papercut straight across the biometric finger the night before holiday. God damn it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 Last night. Wife: why don't you have a beer? You've had a long day. Me: No, I'm driving in the morning. Wife: That's OK. I can drive us in. Just have a beer. Me: OK. This morning. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 7 minutes ago, scottsdad said: Last night. Wife: why don't you have a beer? You've had a long day. Me: No, I'm driving in the morning. Wife: That's OK. I can drive us in. Just have a beer. Me: OK. This morning. A wife encouraging you to have a beer? There’s more to this story than meets the eyes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 5 minutes ago, Dee Man said: A wife encouraging you to have a beer? There’s more to this story than meets the eyes. You've been missing for a while, so you're probably not aware, but his Mrs routinely goes off on week long "holidays" without him, so your insinuations are actually matter of established fact. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 45 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: You've been missing for a while, so you're probably not aware, but his Mrs routinely goes off on week long "holidays" without him, so your insinuations are actually matter of established fact. Thank you. I might just do every post in the out the loop thread until I’m back up to speed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: You've been missing for a while, so you're probably not aware, but his Mrs routinely goes off on week long "holidays" without him, so your insinuations are actually matter of established fact. 3 weeks till she's away again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dundee Hibernian Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant. Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent. Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved. The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 ^^^For fucksake you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 20 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: The fact that there are multiple versions of this card that can only refer to one person. Either the card company is happy with some poor woman being blatantly lied to, or they're happy enough to profiteer from the best mum getting the same card twice. I feel the company is obligated here to decide how many of these cards they will produce and change the wording accordingly. However that brings another problem in that if the wording is changed to “You’re a Mum in approximately six thousand eight hundred” then the number they actually sell may be affected. This requires more thought… 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 38 minutes ago, Dundee Hibernian said: I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant. Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent. Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved. The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan. Why are you posting pictures with jobby on it Spoiler I'm 52 btw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 40 minutes ago, Dundee Hibernian said: I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant. Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent. Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved. The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan. I got my first letter last year, I just assumed as I was posting it back to Dundee that it was written by someone in Dundee and that covered their vocabulary skills. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob in Denny Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 4 hours ago, scottsdad said: Last night. Wife: why don't you have a beer? You've had a long day. Me: No, I'm driving in the morning. Wife: That's OK. I can drive us in. Just have a beer. Me: OK. This morning. What part of this forsaken area can you get speeds up like that? (apart from the motorway) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Dundee Hibernian said: I'm pretty easy going for an old person, nothing much fazes me. Nonetheless, every couple of years for the past two decades, when the Scottish Bowel Screening Programme letter reaches my house, I go into a rant. Not about the bowel cancer checks, that is a very sensible strategy, no, what gets my old goat is the language used on the literature sent. Specifically, the word 'poo' being used in documentation aimed at 50-74 year old Scottish people. There isn't a single Scottish person of that age who would use that word for a shite, and it angers me to the extent I've written emails and made phone calls to the relevant parties involved. The excuse given for using 'poo' for adult guidance is that a focus group discussed how to best get their message across, and it was widely agreed that 'poo' was the sort of term which would find acceptance. On the 'backside' (!) of the form the term 'poo' is used 5 times, as you can see. The only thing going for that document is the near perfect jobbie in the pictures, but again, that only makes me jealous, as nowadays most of mine leave a horrifying brown soup with umber splats in the pan. If any inventors are reading, this task needs a 2" hoop on a stick with a pre attached johnny (lubed, but no spermicide needed) rolled around the hoop. We can then simply shit through the hoop, tie off the end and stick a second class stamp on. I don't want any royalties for this but there's only a few years to go before i need the jobbyjohnny tm, so get on with it please 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 1 hour ago, coprolite said: If any inventors are reading, this task needs a 2" hoop on a stick with a pre attached johnny (lubed, but no spermicide needed) rolled around the hoop. We can then simply shit through the hoop, tie off the end and stick a second class stamp on. Ideally with a preprinted label addressed to 10 Downing Street. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Green Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 Websites where - as soon as you open it to look for some random item - a sales adviser pops up in a chat box "hi, can I help you?". No, if I was a moron looking for help I wouldnt be searching for something very specific on your site. <closes window> Aye, I am looking at you Guitar Guitar (among others)............................. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 I believe I am developing an intolerance for the sound of rustling, particularly the rustle of my son’s bib and bedsheets. Probably due to (a) if his bib is rustling then he’s flailing about and not eating, and (b) Mrs Mathematics can’t sleep and so I’ll not be getting any sleep. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.