WhiteRoseKillie Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 If Dennis Nielsen had had access to One Shot he might still be alive today And a lot of other people wouldn't beI remember Dennis having to get his bog unblocked when he was on our wing a few years back. His thanks to Officer with the plunger was, "where were you twenty years ago, Guv?" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 April Fool's 'jokes'. All dreadfully unfunny stuff that are for cretins. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 10 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: April Fool's 'jokes'. All dreadfully unfunny stuff that are for cretins. ^^^^^^falls for every single one 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 April Fool's 'jokes'. All dreadfully unfunny stuff that are for cretins.There have occasionally been good ones, but the majority, especially Daily Record-esque "The Proclaimers are actually Hearts fans, lol!" are dreadful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 18 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: April Fool's 'jokes'. All dreadfully unfunny stuff that are for cretins. Just been done a belter by two of my painters. They've called me from a job miles away and said we've painted the ornate wall that wasn't to be touched and it's on the furniture as well. They even had an argument with each other over the phone about whose fault it was for realism. Cue me swearing and starting my familiar routine of stressing and trying to think how we can get out of this, likely expensive, mess. b*****ds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 1 minute ago, Sweet Pete said: Just been done a belter by two of my painters. They've called me from a job miles away and said we've painted the ornate wall that wasn't to be touched and it's on the furniture as well. They even had an argument with each other over the phone about whose fault it was for realism. Cue me swearing and starting my familiar routine of stressing and trying to think how we can get out of this, likely expensive, mess. b*****ds. I take it this post is in support of DAs original point? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 I laughed. Mainly out of relief as it is the type of thing that I've come to expect to happen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 2 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said: I laughed. Mainly out of relief as it is the type of thing that I've come to expect to happen. You should have sacked them both on the spot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 1 minute ago, Mr. Alli said: You should have sacked them both on the spot. If I sacked them all for being lazy, unfunny, useless, drunken, ugly, smelly, late, incompetent fuckwits then I'd have no staff left. Not even me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Sweet Pete said: If I sacked them all for being lazy, unfunny, useless, drunken, ugly, smelly, late, incompetent fuckwits then I'd have no staff left. Not even me. ^^^^ Neil Lennon found 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 2 hours ago, DA Baracus said: April Fool's 'jokes'. All dreadfully unfunny stuff that are for cretins. Always good for outing psychopaths trying to imitate human behaviour though. There's been a shooting at your kid's school and they're dead! Psyche! That's funny, right guys? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 5 hours ago, Stellaboz said: Not a chance, isn't our place. We're on a sort of flat swap for a week or so and there's no way I'm bringing up other people's hairs etc. They don't seem to have a plunger either, they're a young couple who I think are quite naive to these sort of things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Always good for outing psychopaths trying to imitate human behaviour though. There's been a shooting at your kid's school and they're dead! Psyche! That's funny, right guys?Awful lot of Americanisms from yourself recently I've noticed. Not acceptable obviously. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 11 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Awful lot of Americanisms from yourself recently I've noticed. Not acceptable obviously. I have flashbacks. Also, I've not seen that particularly hilarious jape used here, probably because it would be horrifying and not just Thursday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 22 hours ago, Mr. Alli said: You should have sacked them both on the spot. Then he would have had a problem... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 Out for a run with the dog yesterday morning. This woman stops me and says “your dog is much fitter than you, isn’t he?”. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 Out for a run with the dog yesterday morning. This woman stops me and says “your dog is much fitter than you, isn’t he?”. Wid?**not you obviously, the woman has already covered that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 7 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Wid?* *not you obviously, the woman has already covered that Wid not. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 On 01/04/2021 at 11:19, Sweet Pete said: If I sacked them all for being lazy, unfunny, useless, drunken, ugly, smelly, late, incompetent fuckwits then I'd have no staff left. Not even me. Any jobs going? Sounds like I'd fit right in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 2, 2021 Share Posted April 2, 2021 2 minutes ago, The Moonster said: Any jobs going? Sounds like I'd fit right in. In the building trades there's no uniform, you can behave like an unprofessional arsehole and the money's half decent. You'd hate it, wee man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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