The Cricket Thread

[Aubrey Maturin]

Haven't been on the site but here are my belated thoughts on what is the worst England team since the pre Hussain days in the early nineties.  In my opinion operation reset in absolute bullshit and an excuse to leave out Branderson due to the fact that Captain no longers feels he can handle them.   Reset hmm, let's leave out Parkinson for the inept, bang average Leach, play Woakes abroad, he is a home player and the belter of them all Craig Bloody Overton, urghh the early 90's style non fast bowlwr with a lack of skill to make it work.  Poor Fisher given one test.   Fundamentally Root should have went when the rest of them went after the Ashes,  to leave him in situ was a poor choice by a board perpetuated by poor choices.

Now let's look at them individually.

Lees  -   one paced, lead footed, 28 years of age.  

Crawley  -  The same shot gets him out time after time, one good innings followed by about ten failures - not good enough.

Root  -  Great player -  crap captain

Lawrence - technique is wonky, easily found out.

Bairstow -  Has guts but simply not good enough- average under 35 despite that amount of tests. 

Stokes -  Great talent, but how often does he actually do it, living off Headningly a bit.  Body appears gubbed.  Should not bat higher than 6

Foakes -  Good keeper  - Not good enough with the bad with what's above him.

Overton -  Simply shite

Woakes - Nice all round cricketer, great at home, away doesn't have what it takes.

Mahmood  -  One positive, very good potential - should have started in Australia

Leach -  Sorry Jack, nice chap, fucking rank and if an opposition sees him in the team it;s lick your lips time.

Other squad members

Pope -  The most overrated player of all time,  worst top order effort against spin I've ever seen. Posh boy Olly is pish.

Burns -  Dreadful technique - again found out against good bowling.  Too old to improve.

Sibley -  Oh my, makes Chris Tavare look rapid , one dimensional.

Buttler -  Busted fush in test match cricket

Livingstone - Clearly not one of the Chaps.

Robinson - Not fit enough, English typical seamer.

Fisher -  Not seen enough

Parkinson - Should have played, been treated terribly by England

Archer -  Killed by Root overbowling him in a couple of tests that were meandering to a draw year ago - Elbow gubbed - will never be the same

Broad  - should be there

Anderson - should be there

Stone - made of plaster

Wood - Great when fit, sadly never fit enough and getting on a wee bit too.

The ECB are a disgrace and their short sited approach to red ball cricket in their quest for cash has truly fucked the game.   This will take years to resolve. 

I'd sack Root, bring in Broad as captain for two years and identify a  succesor.  Pick your best team for every test, don't try to get a team right for the ashes as it never works - success breeds success.

New head for me should be Atherton or Hussain.

Fucking shambles.

Edited March 27, 2022 by Tynie Wopsle

[peasy23]

Grenada looks lovely btw. I'm old enough to remember when a US backed coalition invaded it.

[peasy23]

England all out with a lead of 27.

[btb]

Watching Fire In Babylon  a documentary about the start of West Indies glory years under Sir Clive Lloyd!

Well that didn't take long - less than 5 overs.

Edited March 27, 2022 by btb

[Flybhoy]

7 hours ago, btb said:

Watching Fire In Babylon  a documentary about the start of West Indies glory years under Sir Clive Lloyd!

Well that didn't take long - less than 5 overs.

Frightening to think back then most batsmen faced the ferocious pace bowlers of the West Indies and the likes of Thomson and Lillee of Australia with no head protection. 

[Flybhoy]

Ironically having watched the documentary about the great West Indies side who didn't lose a test series between 81 and 95 but within a decade they had put so much emphasis on one day and T20 cricket that the test side slowly suffered and slipped from being one of the best ib in the world to one of the worst, the England side has kind of gone down the same route. 

Although not in the class of the West Indies sides from Michael Holding and Viv Richards through to Curtlet Ambrose and Brian Lara, the England side that, in their pomp had Cook, Pietersen, Broad and Anderson firing on all cylinders was arguably the best test side in the World for a few years, but they underacheived in white ball cricket. 

Like the Windies so much focus and emphasis has been put towards the limited overs version of the England team that the truest form of the game, the test side has gone to shit, despite their being clear talent there. 

Joe Root is a fantastic batsman but a woeful captain, the test side is full of bang average County players who are clueless at this level of international test cricket, the batting line up, no matter what tweaks and changes they make is their Achilles heel, if you can get Root out early you know England will struggle to make 200 even in a first innings to the point where the bowlers, who are decent but nothing spectacular without the ageing Broad and Anderson, are left with almost impossible scores to try and defend to the extent that the same strike bowlers will be overused out of desperation and worn out pretty quickly. 

The batting however, as I mentioned is their constant downfall, the amount of times you see England top and middle order batters get caught behind to absolutely stupid shots they don't need to play is as hilarious as it is predictable. 

You don't even need to be particularly adventurous in the bowling attack and field placements to bowl England out, just bowl enough deliveries just outwith the stumps and the daft c***s will eventually take a needless waft at the delivery giving a gift to the wicket keeper or slip catchers 

[peasy23]

First time ever England have gone 5 straight series without a win.

They are now bottom of the World Test Championship table.

[jaggyness]

Got to be the end for Root as captain but he must remain in the side as the only.genuinely good batter in the team. I know he hasn't been great but I think there's enough with Lees for him to keep his spot for the summer opener. Mahmood as well deserves another shot. Other than that none of them have staked a claim to force their way into the xi routinely. So, first test starting xi then?
Hameed
Lees
Crawley
Root
Bairstow
Stokes
Buttler
Archer
Broad
Parkinson
Anderson

Could easily sub in Foakes, Robinson, Wood, Mahmood in the bowling group but struggling to find anyone to strengthen the batting line up that hasn't already failed.

[peasy23]

Poll on the BBC website, when they ran the same poll after the Ashes 58% wanted Root to stay on.

Joe Root wants to stay as England captain despite West Indies defeat - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/60893974

[Mark Connolly]

I know it's a bit of a shite "Well who would be better?"-type argument, but how much will making someone else captain actually change what is happening with England?

The problems are surely far deeper than that?

[Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo]

Joe Root has to be captain because he's the only one good enough (and not made of glass) to be guaranteed a spot in the team.

It's like he's playing Under 18's and is the one player with a car.

[die hard doonhamer]

8 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

I know it's a bit of a shite "Well who would be better?"-type argument, but how much will making someone else captain actually change what is happening with England?

The problems are surely far deeper than that?

They are deeper than that, but there are definitely some that would be resolved by a tactically superior captain (such as actually being able to skittle a tail once in a while). 
 

2 hours ago, jaggyness said:

Got to be the end for Root as captain but he must remain in the side as the only.genuinely good batter in the team. I know he hasn't been great but I think there's enough with Lees for him to keep his spot for the summer opener. Mahmood as well deserves another shot. Other than that none of them have staked a claim to force their way into the xi routinely. So, first test starting xi then?
Hameed
Lees
Crawley
Root
Bairstow
Stokes
Buttler
Archer
Broad
Parkinson
Anderson

Could easily sub in Foakes, Robinson, Wood, Mahmood in the bowling group but struggling to find anyone to strengthen the batting line up that hasn't already failed.

If Buttler is anywhere near the side I’ll be furious. Foakes needs to stay there as WK for the foreseeable. He’s so far ahead of the other 2 options with the gloves.

 I’ve got a feeling that Sibley will be back in the side. I’m not sure I like it, but I think he’ll start the season well (he’s got a ton in a preseason game today) and be back in. I wouldn’t bother with Archer, if he wants to play test cricket he needs to go commit to first class for a while and learn to keep his pace up over a few spells. His medium paced shite is nowhere near good enough for test match cricket. 

[jaggyness]

If Buttler is anywhere near the side I’ll be furious. Foakes needs to stay there as WK for the foreseeable. He’s so far ahead of the other 2 options with the gloves.
 I’ve got a feeling that Sibley will be back in the side. I’m not sure I like it, but I think he’ll start the season well (he’s got a ton in a preseason game today) and be back in. I wouldn’t bother with Archer, if he wants to play test cricket he needs to go commit to first class for a while and learn to keep his pace up over a few spells. His medium paced shite is nowhere near good enough for test match cricket. 

I agree with you about Foakes, I just think that he's never done enough with the bat to cement his place, not that Buttler's test batting has been brilliant for a long time. Archer I think will be included as he can, but hasn't for a few years, bring something different to the side but this has got to be the summer where he proves he can bowl at 90mph for a 6+ over spell.

[FuzzyBear]

5 hours ago, jaggyness said:

Got to be the end for Root as captain but he must remain in the side as the only.genuinely good batter in the team. I know he hasn't been great but I think there's enough with Lees for him to keep his spot for the summer opener. Mahmood as well deserves another shot. Other than that none of them have staked a claim to force their way into the xi routinely. So, first test starting xi then?
Hameed
Lees
Crawley
Root
Bairstow
Stokes
Buttler
Archer
Broad
Parkinson
Anderson

Could easily sub in Foakes, Robinson, Wood, Mahmood in the bowling group but struggling to find anyone to strengthen the batting line up that hasn't already failed.

Hameed, Crawley,Bairstow and Buttler not good enough. Lees probably not good enough. Archer injured.

[jaggyness]

Hameed, Crawley,Bairstow and Buttler not good enough. Lees probably not good enough. Archer injured.

I am probably in a minority but I don't get the hate of Bairstow as a batsman. His average is very similar to Stokes and I think he's OK as a number 5/6

[die hard doonhamer]

1 hour ago, jaggyness said:

2 hours ago, FuzzyBear said:

Hameed, Crawley,Bairstow and Buttler not good enough. Lees probably not good enough. Archer injured.

I am probably in a minority but I don't get the hate of Bairstow as a batsman. His average is very similar to Stokes and I think he's OK as a number 5/6

I’m with you here. Bairstow is England third (if not second) best bat. 

[btb]

17 hours ago, peasy23 said:

Poll on the BBC website, when they ran the same poll after the Ashes 58% wanted Root to stay on.

Joe Root wants to stay as England captain despite West Indies defeat - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/60893974

Difficult to envisge Root having much authority over Anderson/Broad after losing the Windies series, which may not be a long term problem but could be tricky this summer.

[HTG]

England are absolutely pish. There's no way out of this in the next 12 - 24 months because they're already selecting what seems to be the best the county championship can offer up. They will need a new generation of cricketers to come through and f**k knows where they'll find them now that the money is in franchise cricket. 

In short can't bat, can't bowl, fucked. 

[Boo Khaki]

Genuinely think this is the poorest England side of my lifetime. The teams of the late 80's and early 90's were no great shakes either, but they at least competed against the 'lesser' nations of the era, and they were facing some of the most vicious attacks in the history of Test cricket, and often on wickets that would be deemed unsafe now. This lot capitulate against the world's most powderpuff attacks, can't score runs on absolute roads, and can't take wickets unless the opposition are actively helping them.
 

And yes, it's impossible to see how a change of coach, change of captain, and waiting around for a bit is going to change anything, because it's clear English cricket is now entirely geared toward twatting it across the line to set the fireworks off. It's bizarre how they've gone from being ten years behind the times in white ball cricket, nurdling it at 4RPO with Darren Maddy and Jeremy Snape bowling moonballs while everyone else was bowling yorkers and smashing it straight, to being completely and utterly incapable of playing any format of cricket that requires any sort of application, patience, or grit and determination.

Edited March 30, 2022 by Boo Khaki

[peasy23]

Fair play to England's women, after losing their first 3 games they've made it to the World Cup final. They've just beaten SA in the semi by 137 runs.