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9 hours ago, Dee Man said:

Hold on one goddamn minute, I just read elsewhere that you got the head stuck on you and were out the game for a couple of weeks - seconds after my headbutting I was chasing my assailant down the street and apprehending him until the police arrived. 

I shall not have history rewritten, thank you very much. 

NO YOU HOLD ON!!!!

 

I was simply stating that taking a napper to the snout is pretty fucking sore. That doesn't mean I am in the same bracket as someone who has to be scraped off the floor by his wife if he puts his aftershave on too hard....

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11 hours ago, DiegoDiego said:
12 hours ago, Dee Man said:
I've got no idea mate, you're the one making up the stories so you tell me. 

What childhood trauma turned you into such a cynical mess?

His first visit to Dens Park.

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1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

NO YOU HOLD ON!!!!

 

I was simply stating that taking a napper to the snout is pretty fucking sore. That doesn't mean I am in the same bracket as someone who has to be scraped off the floor by his wife if he puts his aftershave on too hard....

It was Old Spice and I had cut myself shaving. 

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9 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Were squished crows that have been run over as intelligent as most, or were these ones just the thicko simpletons of the crow world? 

It could be they were the coffin dodgers of the corvid world and too slow to react to the articulated lorry of doom. 

Or maybe they had taken some dodgy pills and were raven... 

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1 hour ago, tamthebam said:

It could be they were the coffin dodgers of the corvid world and too slow to react to the articulated lorry of doom. 

Well, that's just the problem. Crows leave one of their number to watch for approaching traffic and when a car comes along it calls "CAW! CAW!" 

Unfortunately they haven't learned to call "LORRY! LORRY!"

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2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Get this apparently she’s not even a cat.

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Or even real to be honest (tbh).

 

But do you know who she is, and why she has so much merchandise?

Asking for a bunch of comedians from roughly fifteen years ago.

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