Ross. Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 9 hours ago, Mr. Alli said: 1 ashtray 1 granny. Shitebag if you dinna. Bludgeon her to death with it? I'm too pretty for jail and I'm not quite rich enough that I could buy off the charges. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 Missus spoke to the landlord today. Landlord was less than supportive of our view that the old cow was out of order. Missus now wants to move. Ah well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 1 landlord 1 clawhammer. Shitebag if you dinna. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 Shite on the carpet and fish behind the walls before you leave imo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 22 hours ago, Mark Connolly said: Sounds like Mullarkey's wife was round at Ross's bit. If Parisiennes is some kind euphemism for golden Virginia roll ups then, yes, she’s been round Ross’s bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted February 23, 2021 Share Posted February 23, 2021 I could suggest leave some spliffs in the ashtray before you move and then phone the polis Doubt the polis would bother with a couple of spliffs. Hmm .. a couple of burnt spoons and bag of brown substance hidden in a plant pot might do it though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 8 hours ago, tamthebam said: I could suggest leave some spliffs in the ashtray before you move and then phone the polis Doubt the polis would bother with a couple of spliffs. Hmm .. a couple of burnt spoons and bag of brown substance hidden in a plant pot might do it though. Smoking your own is legal here. Selling it isn’t. They would buy her the heroin and injecting kit here to make sure she is using clean stuff... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 13 hours ago, Ross. said: Missus spoke to the landlord today. Landlord was less than supportive of our view that the old cow was out of order. Missus now wants to move. Ah well. So the landlord has just taken her word for it even though you've explained nobody in your household smokes? Burn the fucking lot down. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 40 minutes ago, The Moonster said: So the landlord has just taken her word for it even though you've explained nobody in your household smokes? Burn the fucking lot down. I think the landlord has looked at it from a self protection POV. Old woman who has been there for years and will likely pay rent until she dies, versus young couple only in there a year and will be looking for something bigger in the next couple of years. I can sort of understand that logic. That said, I agree with your conclusion. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 Has Bairnardo got round to smoking Parisiennes yet? There are a few folk in Paris I dislike tbf, but now is not the time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 5 hours ago, Ross. said: Smoking your own is legal here. Selling it isn’t. They would buy her the heroin and injecting kit here to make sure she is using clean stuff... Fair enough. I wonder what would tick off the Schweizer Polizei/les Flics Suisses- fake Toblerone perhaps? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 47 minutes ago, tamthebam said: Fair enough. I wonder what would tick off the Schweizer Polizei/les Flics Suisses- fake Toblerone perhaps? I’d need to somehow fake her having set up a webcam to record whoever was using her table and god forsaken ashtray. Such wanton disregard for our privacy would probably see her loaded into a cannon and fired into Liechtenstein. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 2 minutes ago, Ross. said: I’d need to somehow fake her having set up a webcam to record whoever was using her table and god forsaken ashtray. Such wanton disregard for our privacy would probably see her loaded into a cannon and fired into Liechtenstein. She needs done away with sneakily IMO. If only there was some untraceable locally mass-produced weapon...maybe a knife of some sort. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 Club her over the head with a luxury timepiece. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 3 hours ago, Ross. said: I’d need to somehow fake her having set up a webcam to record whoever was using her table and god forsaken ashtray. Such wanton disregard for our privacy would probably see her loaded into a cannon and fired into Liechtenstein. Threaten to force feed her the ash and that if the accusations happen again you will launch the ashtray through her window. Say it when nobody else can see or hear and say it in such a way that makes you come across as insane. Watch her never complain again and never leave her house again when you are in the vicinity, works every time. The general public have no idea how to handle a loose cannon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambozpar Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 Bludgeon the old hag to death with a toblerone 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 (edited) Kill her with a block of Swiss cheese! Although that plan might have a few holes in it... Edited February 24, 2021 by Enigma 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 I think the best way to go about it is to choke her with a Swiss flag. That would be a big plus. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 Just clock her 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB1994 Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 27 minutes ago, Ross. said: I think the best way to go about it is to choke her with a Swiss flag. That would be a big plus. It would be a bit of a red flag for your other neighbours. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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