tamthebam Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 41 minutes ago, Gaz said: I'm halfway through this thread and so far this is the only thing that could be classed as a genuine accident and not as a direct result of someone's stupidity / incompetence. EDIT: At the end now. I stand by my comment. You forgot to add "and the capriciousness of one evil feline..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Just now, tamthebam said: You forgot to add "and the capriciousness of one evil feline..." Perhaps "something's" instead of "someone's" would have been better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Shandon Par said: Even with a good scrub you might get bits of road appearing for a while yet. To clarify; this was about 30 years ago but yes, I still have scars/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 10 hours ago, Shotgun said: Come on now, make up your mind. Where was he from? My story is that a group of friends and I were nearly home after a very pleasant bike ride. Rolling down a long hill, doing maybe 30 mph or so, my front wheel collapsed without warning and I went down through the bike frame. Being attached to the pedals via the toe clips, I then somersaulted over and slid for about 20 yards leaving the best part of 1/2 a stone's worth of skin on the ground. I ended up looking like a pile of raw mince. The heid E.R. nursey said it was the worst injuries she'd seen on someone who hadn't broken a bone. I was there for almost four hours while a team of Lisa Cuddys wielding sandpaper and salt scrubbed the gravel out of me. By the time they let my friends take me home, I was covered in more bandages than an Egyptian Mummy with a bandage fetish. And the pain...oh fucking hell, the pain. I think I would rather watch a show about the Kardashians than go through that again. I was belting down the road on my BMX when i was about 8 or so heading for my mates house. I remember hitting the pothole and seeing the road come up to meet me, my next memory is standing at my mates door roaring and greeting and his mum screaming when she saw the state my face was in when she opened the door. The only part of me that was cut was my face, as i'd evidently gone over the handlebars, landed on the side of my face and slid along until I stopped. His dad had to troop off and recover my bike that had ended up about 50 feet away from the colossal pothole that I had somehow not seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Not so much an accident but jesus fook! Sounded like a shotgun going off. https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=64f_1516792876 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Might want to tell Titleist that. Thank your lucky stars it wasn't a 100 compression [emoji38]I'd have claimed it. Those fuckers were 9.95 for a sleeve of three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Fractured ankle falling down a solitary stair. Tore ligaments in both ankles after drunkenly falling down the stairs in a nightclub. Not clever attempting to walk home the next morning. Cut myself on a Stanley knife trying to check if it was sharp or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 1 hour ago, mizfit said: Fractured ankle falling down a solitary stair. Tore ligaments in both ankles after drunkenly falling down the stairs in a nightclub. Not clever attempting to walk home the next morning. Cut myself on a Stanley knife trying to check if it was sharp or not. Was it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Was it? Very Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Golden God Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Dropped a ten pin bowling ball, tried to catch it, failed shockingly. I was 7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Burned my cock on the iron one morning (hungover, not paying attention). Would possibly have hurt less had my parents decided against getting me circumcised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Did you think it would get bigger if you ironed it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Just a wee sizzle around the 3 o’clock position on the head rather than a fill on lorne/square scenario. Still have a bit of scarring but not sure if pics or gtf would be hugely appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Just now, Shandon Par said: Just a wee sizzle around the 3 o’clock position on the head rather than a fill on lorne/square scenario. Still have a bit of scarring but not sure if pics or gtf would be hugely appropriate. You seem very accident prone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Ironing in the buff does not seem like a sensible idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Just now, Rugster said: Ironing in the buff does not seem like a sensible idea. You’d steam clean your privates too if you’d been riding Mrs Bairnardo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 On 1/24/2018 at 03:17, Shotgun said: My story is that a group of friends and I were nearly home after a very pleasant bike ride. Rolling down a long hill, doing maybe 30 mph or so, my front wheel collapsed without warning and I went down through the bike frame. Had the same when I was about seven, cycling down a big old hill, my Grandma watched on as my wheel went one way and I continued on. I nearly managed to get to my feet, but slid a long on my knees, a bit like Adebayor celebrating that goal against Arsenal. As I got up, I just remember the feeling of blood running down my shins. By f**k did I howl. My Grandma picked my bike up, and walked it and me slowly back to her house. I got a bar of dairy milk as she set about my knees with a bowl of hot water and dettol. That sting was something else. After I was settled and watching Cartoon Network, she went back and got my tire which had run away. Never got on the thing again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 55 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I normally Shake 'n' Vac. Before and after. When your nob smells fresh, the room does toooo, every time you vacuum remember what to doooooo.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 I slipped on a slippy floor in my work in June, dislocated my knee and tore my meniscus ligament.Waited ages on a consultation, an MRI scan and im currently on a 30 week waiting list for an operation to remove ligament from my hamstring and use it to rebuild my knee ligaments. You could get an advert out of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 When I was about 24 I was trying to teach my brother folk. Stood behind to get him set up, told him to swing and blammo! I wasn’t far enough back and took a 5 wood to just between the temple and eye socket. Thought I was ok, not knocked out, then felt the blood pouring down my face. 5 stitches and a black eye swollen shut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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