Eric Paterson Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 My grandad designed the original space shuttle but some Americans stole his designs and shot him with a toxic dart -which is most definitely NOT Cockney rhyming slang for "fart". He pulled the dart out and kept it in a jar on his mantlepiece for about 50 years. How do I go about proving this in a court of law? The evidence was destroyed. I threw the dart at a dartboard and it basically disintegrated on inpact. I don't even know what "toxin" was in it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madwullie Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 Over-rated account imo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 Needs more cowbell. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 (edited) My granny had a rabbit but she thought it was a duck. She put it on the mantlepiece to see if it could f**k.. But she blessed it's heart - and she blessed its soul. Have you ever seen a rabbit with a ducks arsehole? Edited December 17, 2020 by Mr. Alli 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Szamo's_Ammo Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 But whatever, let's get lost on Mars. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 I see oaksoft's trying out another of his film scripts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 My neighbour was part of the team that designed and built the first ever MRI machine, which is very interesting, IMO. Thankfully he was never targeted by foreign spies like Eric's grandfather, but he does have dementia and has to wear an electronic tag to stop him wandering away and getting lost, so I guess that's a form of control. He also built and displayed unbelievably good Christmas decorations, that people would come from all around to see, but doesn't do it anymore cause he's too old. Ageing is a motherfucker. 6 hours ago, Eric Paterson said: My grandad designed the original space shuttle but some Americans stole his designs and shot him with a toxic dart -which is most definitely NOT Cockney rhyming slang for "fart". He pulled the dart out and kept it in a jar on his mantlepiece for about 50 years. How do I go about proving this in a court of law? The evidence was destroyed. I threw the dart at a dartboard and it basically disintegrated on inpact. I don't even know what "toxin" was in it. Do you still have the jar? It may have absorbed some of the contaminant. Be wary though and only take it to a police officer or chemist that you trust. They could still be watching you and your grandfather, and who knows what levels they'd stoop to in order to keep this quiet. Tread lightly, brother. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 My neighbour was part of the team that created Dolly the Sheep. Really interesting guy, although much of it goes over my head as I never studied biology beyond S2. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 4 hours ago, Mr. Alli said: My granny had a rabbit but she thought it was a duck. She put it on the mantlepiece to see if it could f**k.. But she blessed it's heart - and she blessed its soul. Have you ever seen a rabbit with a ducks arsehole? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 7 hours ago, Eric Paterson said: My grandad designed the original space shuttle but some Americans stole his designs and shot him with a toxic dart -which is most definitely NOT Cockney rhyming slang for "fart". He pulled the dart out and kept it in a jar on his mantlepiece for about 50 years. How do I go about proving this in a court of law? The evidence was destroyed. I threw the dart at a dartboard and it basically disintegrated on inpact. I don't even know what "toxin" was in it. My dad came up with "The car Infront is a Toyota" but could you imagine him, Auld Tam, against sachie and saatchi It was David and Goliath stuff pure David and Goliath. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 4 hours ago, Mr. Alli said: My granny had a rabbit but she thought it was a duck. She put it on the mantlepiece to see if it could f**k.. But she blessed it's heart - and she blessed its soul. Have you ever seen a rabbit with a ducks arsehole? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 My neighbour got time for making pirate computer games and chipping PlayStation etc. I stumbled in to the raid going to the shop one morning as the police burst in to the close. Another was jailed for terrorist offences. He had a pile of explosives destined for the UVF. Special Branch must've been all over but I never noticed anything. Then a taxi driver got pished, drove off hitting nearly every car in the street. Others reported that. I only found out in the morning. Unfortunately no cures for cancer at my bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 7 hours ago, Eric Paterson said: My grandad designed the original space shuttle but some Americans stole his designs and shot him with a toxic dart -which is most definitely NOT Cockney rhyming slang for "fart". He pulled the dart out and kept it in a jar on his mantlepiece for about 50 years. How do I go about proving this in a court of law? The evidence was destroyed. I threw the dart at a dartboard and it basically disintegrated on inpact. I don't even know what "toxin" was in it. That's weird, my Grandad designed the "O-rings" for it. He doesn't like to brag about it though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 My father-in-law made thousands of fake £1 coins in the maintenance workshops at Timex Dundee. Probably second only to the Royal Mint. Sold them at 10p each. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 My grandad streaked naked through Chelsea Flower Show. He won first prize for best dried arrangement 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 30 minutes ago, tamthebam said: My grandad streaked naked through Chelsea Flower Show. He won first prize for best dried arrangement Baby carrot and a couple of peas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 5 hours ago, NewBornBairn said: My father-in-law made thousands of fake £1 coins in the maintenance workshops at Timex Dundee. Probably second only to the Royal Mint. Sold them at 10p each. our tech teacher used to file the corners of 50p and they passed in the vending machine for 10p 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 The old 5p coins used to pass for German Marks in machines over there, think that's why they changed them to the horrible wee things you can't pick up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 I see oaksoft's trying out another of his film scripts.Are you sure this isn't an Oaksoft alt?Touch of the Walter Mittys about the Op. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 The old 5p coins used to pass for German Marks in machines over there, think that's why they changed them to the horrible wee things you can't pick up.Our favourite trick as bairns was taking the tinfoil from a pack of polos and wrap it around a 2p piece - then put in the ticket machine on the bus to pretend it was an old style 10p (they were almost the same size) - 8p on every one was a healthy 400% profit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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