Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Andy Dufresne]

We are getting our bathroom done next week and i had to take a few tiles off to let the plumber see some pipework,only then did i find that the previous tenant has tiled on top of tiles.

[Mark Connolly]

Pretty upset that the stories about mates who lie haven't become more extreme with every poster.

[19QOS19]

Used to pal about with a boy who talked complete shite on a regular basis. It was never anything massive just constant little almost pointless ones. So many that I've forgotten most of them. One I can remember was in the height of James McFadden's career when he told me what his full name was and he had a middle name of McFadden. And he wasn't someone with some kind of dry sense of humour, he truly believed we believed the shite he came out with. The biggest annoyance with his lies was not knowing what was real. At school this kind of nonsense was acceptable for some reason and I think everyone knows a real life Jay Cartwright but after being out of school for a few years this shit should be knocked on the head.

Remembered a running lie he used to tell us. He had a 'girl next door' relationship with the lassie across the road from him and would regale us with stories about how he would go over for late night 'booty calls' and how she couldn't get enough of him. There was one day we happened to bump in to said lassie and he completely froze. He gave her an awkward hello and behaved like he'd never spoken to a girl before. She looked at him in almost disgust and wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. Nothing was said about the exchange but oddly enough we were never told any wild stories about their 'relationship' from then on.

[velo army]

13 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

My mate doesn't tell lies but he does recount the same stories very repetitively, to the extent he uses exactly the same language and pauses for effect etc.

I always wonder how he can have perfect recall of his story, but not remember he's told it a hundred times.

I didn't realise I was pals with any Bon Accord fans.

Edited June 15, 2021 by velo army

[Arabdownunder]

14 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

My mate doesn't tell lies but he does recount the same stories very repetitively, to the extent he uses exactly the same language and pauses for effect etc.

I always wonder how he can have perfect recall of his story, but not remember he's told it a hundred times.

I have a mate who also tells the same stories over and over again. In his case he changes details every time he tells it. The other thing he does is appropriate other people's tales. You tell him something that happened to you; six months later he's telling the story as if it happened to him.

[SANTAN]

17 hours ago, GordonD said:

They do say that if you tell a story exactly the same way each time, it shows it's a lie because you've memorised it. If it was true, you'd be remembering different details each time you told it.

Might not be a lie rather they've just remembered the story more than the incident. 

[SANTAN]

2 hours ago, Arabdownunder said:

I have a mate who also tells the same stories over and over again. In his case he changes details every time he tells it. The other thing he does is appropriate other people's tales. You tell him something that happened to you; six months later he's telling the story as if it happened to him.

I caught one of my mates out with that last one, I told him a made up story when we were wee (not about me just about something else) and then when we were much older I remember him telling other people the story, he continued it even to the point where I explained I had made it up yet he insisted he couldn't even remember me being the one to bring it up. 

[Robin.Hood]

Youngest has sports day today at school. Can't go watch

[Melanius Mullarkey]

On lies, Cheesy Morrison went around Elgin telling everyone that he had bought the Bishops (infamous nightclub in Elgin) and that he had organised to fight Frank Bruno there at the opening.

He was in first year high school at the time.

Think it was a lie tbh.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

On lies, Cheesy Morrison went around Elgin telling everyone that he had bought the Bishops (infamous nightclub in Elgin) and that he had organised to fight Frank Bruno there at the opening.

He was in first year high school at the time.

Think it was a lie tbh.

Jonah told us he had been picked for the England rugby team and that they were sending a train to Airdrie to pick him up. He was about 15 at the time.

He must've got injured because he didn't play.

This was the same guy that dressed in the school show costumes and said he was a sailor/fireman/policeman. The shows were all Gilbert and Sullivan productions.

[tamthebam]

This talk of lying b*****ds makes me think of footballers chatting up women and saying they're a footballer and kidding on they're a big player when in actual fact they're Stoneyburn's reserve left back. 

[Guest]

This talk of lying b*****ds makes me think of footballers chatting up women and saying they're a footballer and kidding on they're a big player when in actual fact they're Stoneyburn's reserve left back. 

I guy I know done this successfully once before the good lass he took home on the friday went through the McDonalds drive through when he was working 4 days later. Safe to say he never heard from her again.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

9 minutes ago, tamthebam said:

This talk of lying b*****ds makes me think of footballers chatting up women and saying they're a footballer and kidding on they're a big player when in actual fact they're Stoneyburn's reserve left back. 

Circa 1991, I once told a lady in Abertay student Union that I’d just moved to Dundee and had signed for Dundee FC. I said I didn’t know anyone in the city but had inadvertently ended up in a student Union by accident.

Never got my end away but I did score against Airdrie the following week.

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

On lies, Cheesy Morrison went around Elgin telling everyone that he had bought the Bishops (infamous nightclub in Elgin) and that he had organised to fight Frank Bruno there at the opening.

He was in first year high school at the time.

Think it was a lie tbh.

He'd probably have won.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

7 minutes ago, GordonD said:

He'd probably have won.

It wouldn't have surprised me. Cheesy was mental and about 6'4'' even at the age of about 13.

And ginger (hence the name Cheesy).

I had a quick search for him to see if hes still on the go and came across his FB profile.  He seems to gone Sevco.

[deej]

On 11/06/2021 at 23:29, Boo Khaki said:

This is a deliberate design ploy in order to limit the number of poor unfortunates who inadvertently find themselves headed to Fife through no fault of their own. This is why there is also a roundabout at the immediate far end of the bridge, i.e. to enable immediate 360's and a swift return to the 21st century.

You'll be welcome in Fife with maths like that

[Shotgun]

I worked briefly, with a lad who told me he was a direct descendant of William Wallace AND Robert the Bruce.

I’ve also met 3 ex SAS, an ex Navy Seal and a guy who used to spar with Chuck Norris.  None of them looked like they’ve ever been in a fight in their lives. 

[Funky Nosejob]

32 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

I worked briefly, with a lad who told me he was a direct descendant of William Wallace AND Robert the Bruce.

Robert the Bruce died about 700 years ago. Allowing for 3 generations per century and an average of 2 children surviving to reproductive adulthood per generation, would mean there are currently about 2^21 (2,097,152) direct descendants of Robert the Bruce. 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Funky Nosejob

[Gaz]

I have a mate who is an utter fantasist. Amongst his wild claims are:

He invented the Rotastack but had the idea stolen from him at a trade fair

He has spent time in a Turkish prison

He was on a boat that capsized in the middle of the Atlantic

And various others.

[vikingTON]

7 minutes ago, Gaz said:

 

He has spent time in a Turkish prison

 

Did he follow it up with this?