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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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this fucking diet ain't went to plan today. 2 meat and tattie pies, a yorkie and a caramel, chips, chicken madras, chicken tikka, pakora, nan bread, Ben and jerrys caramel ice cream and now on my 6th bottle of San miguel

There's the rub. If you had started out on the beer things would have turned out for the better.

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Zen takes his seat at Palmerston, 5 minutes later Mr & Mrs Coffin Dodger climbs the steps and sits behind me.

Instantly my shoulder blades are pressurised from the seat behind me.

I read the programme for 1 minute still enduring the pressure, finally I turn round to see not only his knees but he had his hands on his knees which had seconds earlier been pushing me out off my seat.

"are my knees bothering you" he asks. (this bit is what I should have said), Aye f**k off you old c**t, however said coffin dodger decided to move seats. Didn't change the outcome of the game though.

Dopey auld twat.

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Women are so daft sometimes. "Il need to put a photo of the new house on Facebook", aye hen, you'd be just as well to invite any potential burglars to the housewarming as well then eh???!!!

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People that smell.

A guy sat next to me on the bus today and he was absolutely howfing. It's so inconsiderate. Would it hurt some people to take 10 minutes out of their day and have a wash? You can get a bar of soap for 10p for f**k sake! Absolutely no excuse for it.

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People that smell.

A guy sat next to me on the bus today and he was absolutely howfing. It's so inconsiderate. Would it hurt some people to take 10 minutes out of their day and have a wash? You can get a bar of soap for 10p for f**k sake! Absolutely no excuse for it.

Which half of the old firm did he support?

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People that smell.

A guy sat next to me on the bus today and he was absolutely howfing. It's so inconsiderate. Would it hurt some people to take 10 minutes out of their day and have a wash? You can get a bar of soap for 10p for f**k sake! Absolutely no excuse for it.

Same happened to me the other week. To make it worse he looked like George Galloway.

Come to think of it he got off at Partick, maybe was him :o

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When you're on anti-biotics and they seem to be working initially but near the end of the course you feel fucking terrible again.

More the fact they fcuk up my digestive system :(

Brilliant when you're doing some work out in the middle of fcuking nowhere.

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