philpy Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Whenever that happens to me I just do a safety wipe with bog roll. Gives you a sense of cleanliness of the anus IMO. PARKLIFE 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Wummin in the office next door came to ask me how to highlight a row (or column.. she didn't know the difference) on Excel. I know how to do that. It's piss easy. But it aint my job. And I'm happy to go and help her with her computer nonsense when there's two people working here because someone can cover but she expects me to drop everything so I told her I don't know how and got her to phone IT Support. Hopefully the IT guys will get called out often enough for basic Microsoft Office shit (she's asked me before how to save a word document) they'll just fucking send her away to get some fucking training. Every fucker in this hospital thinks I'm a technical genius because I'm the only one here who doesn't remember black and white telly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 For the safety of everyone in the hospital I reckon you should get a new job. Someone is going to ask you how to copy and paste something one day and you're going to go all Seung-Hui Cho on the place. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 People who open packets of crisps the wrong way up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 8 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: People who open packets of crisps the wrong way up. Do they fall out? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 17 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said: Do they fall out? At risk of a 'whoosh', I mean this: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 46 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: For the safety of everyone in the hospital I reckon you should get a new job. Someone is going to ask you how to copy and paste something one day and you're going to go all Seung-Hui Cho on the place. I did call a patient a fucking idiot under my breath yesterday but they heard me. Asked me if I called them a fucking idiot. Couldn't be arsed with them so said "Aye. I did" Think they were too shocked to put a complaint in tho' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 10 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: At risk of a 'whoosh', I mean this: When stored in boxes and on shelves the flavouring that coats the crisps, some detachs from the crips and and settles at the bottom, For a more flavoursome taste this is the best way to eat crisps as the the dusting of loose flavouring will now fall from bottom (which is now the open top) to top ( which is now the closed bottom) over the crisps as you eat them, rather than remain at the bottom of the bag. All packets should opening this way to optimise taste. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 16 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: At risk of a 'whoosh', I mean this: Any better? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: People who open packets of crisps the wrong way up. Maybe we've all been doing it wrong, as evidenced by monkeys and bananas Edited February 15, 2017 by Shandon Par 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 On 2/14/2017 at 17:29, welshbairn said: It's ok to hog the middle lane if the inside is one long queue of lorries, even if with the odd space, and you're keeping to 70/75 min. Otherwise just slot in behind a lorry and save fuel. Unless you're meaning 70-75kmph you are advocating that everyone driving in an overtaking lane should be breaking the national speed limit. Slightly irresponsible... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 3 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: Unless you're meaning 70-75kmph you are advocating that everyone driving in an overtaking lane should be breaking the national speed limit. Slightly irresponsible... I talked to a traffic cop who said they would never do someone for driving safely at 79 or less in a 70 limit. There's an unspoken 10% allowance for dodgy speedos. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 11 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Wash down a bottle of night nurse with some brandy and you'll be fine. I put gin in my Lemsip. The alcohol goes up in the steam, really clears the tubes. It tastes better as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 "He's hit that too well" WTF. I hate football commentators. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 2 hours ago, Angusfifer said: Unless you're meaning 70-75kmph you are advocating that everyone driving in an overtaking lane should be breaking the national speed limit. Slightly irresponsible... Totally agree. If they're doing less than 80mph they're not doing it right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 (edited) Going to pretend this thread is called "Fucking scunner". My return to Broadwood went well. Awful game, 88th minute equaliser for us to delay the inevitable followed by a potential own goal very late into extra time to pap us oot regardless and arsehole here lost his wallet. Edit. cannae spell either. Edited February 15, 2017 by Toma_BullyWee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I put gin in my Lemsip. The alcohol goes up in the steam, really clears the tubes. It tastes better as well. It's vital the youngsters learn these life skills. Lemsip espresso is my tip. Just enough boiling water to melt the fuckers, washed down with spirits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Self service machines where they first ask you if you're using your own bags... only to ask straight away afterwards "enter the number of bags you used". Two actually, but they were both mine, like I f***in' told you when you asked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 5 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: At risk of a 'whoosh', I mean this: I remember when I was a wee boy I used to stay with my uncle every other weekend. I have no idea why, he had 4 kids of his own, but anyway my wee cousin opened the packet like that and her twin sister told her it was wrong, so she turned it upside down and my uncle lost the rag. He was like a walking panic attack back then. Saying that, 5 weans running about on your only days off work... It makes sense really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 10 hours ago, welshbairn said: There's an unspoken 10% allowance for dodgy speedos. Have you ever thought about getting some Speedos that fit you better? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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