Dee Man Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, NewBornBairn said: How come lorries crawl past each other when overtaking, sometimes taking five minutes to go a lorry-length, but the minute they're past they seem to speed up? Depending on the truck and the load it can only take a small gradient to slow down/speed up a truck. Edited February 14, 2017 by Dee Man Can't spell 'on' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 1 hour ago, The Moonster said: Aye, I had to drive down to Dewsbury and back yesterday, even with fairly quiet motorways there were still streams of cunts sitting in the middle lane. I had heard police were going to be clamping down on this stuff but who knows if they actually are. Not sure if it's changed now but when I done my test there was pretty much no education on motorway driving, I think that must have a lot to answer for with so many seemingly clueless b*****ds using them these days. Learners aren't allowed on motorways so drivers are expected to be self taught once they pass their test, so unless they've got someone pointing out their mistakes and the consequences of them to other road users then they are going to carry on with their old habits completely oblivious to the carnage and frustration they're causing around them. Taxi drivers peeping their horns at bad drivers will achieve nothing as the offenders have no idea what they've done wrong. The government needs to roll out repeat adverts on the tv and radio to educate drivers. A few animated scenes of a birds eye view of middle lane hogging to show the knock on effects that their shite driving is having on everyone else would soon get the message home as to why so many people are driving past them blasting their horns and giving them the finger. As a professional prozzie killer myself, there is nothing worse* than rapidly catching up with someone as you are on cruise control at 56mph, pull out to overtake, only for them to speed up and sit at the same speed as you and it's then you who looks like the dick as you are in the outside lane and going nowhere fast while holding up a big line of traffic. If I was the governments traffic tsar I'd have the roads flowing like a big flowy thing within weeks. *There are far worse things than this. Baws oot for a pish, for one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 It's common fcking sense. I drove fine on 3 laned motorways a week after passing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 4 minutes ago, Dee Man said: Learners aren't allowed on motorways so drivers are expected to be self taught once they pass their test, so unless they've got someone pointing out their mistakes and the consequences of them to other road users then they are going to carry on with their old habits completely oblivious to the carnage and frustration they're causing around them. Aye, I get why they aren't allowed on motorways but when I got lessons they didn't even discuss what you should do in certain scenarios on motorways. Maybe that was just my instructor but I assume he's not the only one. Basically said you need to do Pass Plus if you want to learn motorway driving. And Stellaboz, I agree. Sadly there are too many on this planet with absolutely no common sense whatsoever. It's why we need to put "DO NOT EAT" on those wee bags of gel that come with new microwaves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Surely most learners will have been on a dual carriage way? It's essentially the same. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 24 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: Surely most learners will have been on a dual carriage way? It's essentially the same. A dual carriageway has only got two lanes. As soon as some people are on a 3 lane motorway all common sense goes out the window and they lose their fucking minds. Given that undertaking is illegal, as soon as you start hogging the middle lane you are effectively rendering the left lane redundant. It's even worse when you are on a 4 or 5 lane motorway. The two far left lanes would be as well not being there half the time. You can be travelling slowly on a motorway and wondering what the problem is and as soon as you start travelling downhill and can see for miles ahead you see some clown trundling along at 60 in the middle lane causing the tailback. They should have a big DRIVE IN THE LEFT LANE UNLESS YOU ARE OVERTAKING YOU c***s flashing on the overhead matrix signs. AND TRY STICKING TO THE SAME FUCKING SPEED WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 32 minutes ago, Dee Man said: A dual carriageway has only got two lanes. As soon as some people are on a 3 lane motorway all common sense goes out the window and they lose their fucking minds. Given that undertaking is illegal, as soon as you start hogging the middle lane you are effectively rendering the left lane redundant. It's even worse when you are on a 4 or 5 lane motorway. The two far left lanes would be as well not being there half the time. You can be travelling slowly on a motorway and wondering what the problem is and as soon as you start travelling downhill and can see for miles ahead you see some clown trundling along at 60 in the middle lane causing the tailback. They should have a big DRIVE IN THE LEFT LANE UNLESS YOU ARE OVERTAKING YOU c***s flashing on the overhead matrix signs. AND TRY STICKING TO THE SAME FUCKING SPEED WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. When we see sense and take our Independence we'll be sending a private jet to bring back Dee Man, our Minister of Transport from Oz. Jocky flying the jumbo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 It's ok to hog the middle lane if the inside is one long queue of lorries, even if with the odd space, and you're keeping to 70/75 min. Otherwise just slot in behind a lorry and save fuel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Snipers on the motorway bridges, that'll learn 'em. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 22 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said: Snipers on the motorway bridges, that'll learn 'em. A similar approach to penalty practice at East End Park is called for. Ramp up the incentive not to miss. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 9 hours ago, Shandon Par said: When we see sense and take our Independence we'll be sending a private jet to bring back Dee Man, our Minister of Transport from Oz. Jocky flying the jumbo. My first piece of legislation would be 6 months in jail for tailgating and the return of the death penalty for non use of indicators. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allan Jacobsen Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 4 minutes ago, Dee Man said: My first piece of legislation would be 6 months in jail for tailgating and the return of the death penalty for non use of indicators. Man after my own heart. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I have a stinker of a cold and hardly slept last night for the second night in a row, got so much work to do and feel so absolutely shit and anxious about everything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 58 minutes ago, throbber said: I have a stinker of a cold and hardly slept last night for the second night in a row, got so much work to do and feel so absolutely shit and anxious about everything. I have faith in you throbber 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 3 minutes ago, ICTChris said: I have faith in you throbber I have zero faith or motivation right now, seriously the worst time to come down ill with anything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 2 minutes ago, throbber said: I have zero faith or motivation right now, seriously the worst time to come down ill with anything. Wash down a bottle of night nurse with some brandy and you'll be fine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 I have a stinker of a cold and hardly slept last night for the second night in a row, got so much work to do and feel so absolutely shit and anxious about everything. Power through, Throbber! Give yourself small targets to hit, have breaks and you'll get your work done nae bither. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Just now, Shandon Par said: Wash down a bottle of night nurse with some brandy and you'll be fine. This isn't the first time you have implied you wanted me dead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 2 minutes ago, throbber said: This isn't the first time you have implied you wanted me dead. Oh it wouldn't kill you, just relaxes you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 On 2/9/2017 at 14:25, Stellaboz said: My PTTGOYN for today is needing to fart after a shower. It's fine during, although stinks because of #chemistryorsomething but it feels.... Annoying whilst drying off. Like I should jump back in. Whenever that happens to me I just do a safety wipe with bog roll. Gives you a sense of cleanliness of the anus IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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