Florentine_Pogen Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 Graham as " Gramme"There's an Infuriating proto-fascist, dog-whistling hoor on Fox News called Laura Ingraham which, naturally, is pronounced as 'Ingram'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 9 hours ago, Granny Danger said: Were there fridges in 1899? The fridge was invented in 1899 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 19 hours ago, johnnydun said: "...and why is it you need an appointment today?" f**k all to do with you ya nosey c**t. Instead of training Doctors for seven years, the NHS could save a fortune by sending them on the 2 week receptionist course. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Grahame as " Gramme"Fixed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Don't know how common this is so don't know if anyone can relate to it but it's happened to me a few times over the years and more frequently again recently as aux leads don't seem to stay tight for any length of time: For some reason the vehicle you're driving won't connect to your Bluetooth so you're driving along listening to tunes through your phone via an aux lead to your car stereo and go to change the tune but the slight movement in your phone means the super sensitive aux lead comes loose so you have re-insert the lead tightly and press play again but the fucking phone is locked so you have to try to enter your password while swerving all over the road trying to avoid pesky schoolkids then when you eventually open the phone and press play, the volume has gone back down on the phone so you go to put the volume back up but the phone is giving you a warning that listening at too high a volume causes your ears to fall off so you have to press OK that you understand the warning then go to put the volume back up then once you get all that sorted you put the phone back down to enjoy your music and as you gently place the phone back down the fucking aux lead comes loose again and you have to repeat the entire process. I'm sure these aux lead manufacturers must use the cheapest most degradable materials so you have to buy a new one every 15 minutes. c***s. Fucking punctuate man! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 The blurring or (even worse) the taping up of brand logos on tv programs As well as obscuring brands on Turkish TV programmes, they're also not allowed to show alcohol. As a result you see these Turkish dramas where folk are standing around the kitchen drinking from fuzzy red wine glasses. A truly pointless exercise. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 19 hours ago, Shotgun said: This didn't happen in 1992 did it? I was in Auckland then and after buying my onward plane ticket, went to get some groceries. It was only when my credit card was declined that I realised I'd made an error in my sums and was now over my limit. In those pre-Internet days, the only practical way to deal with that was to wait until my bank back home made the scheduled auto-payment to clear the balance. But that wasn't going to happen for another week. First I talked to the hostel manager and confirmed he was cool with me living rent free until I was back in funds. Then I did some more sums and calculated that I had little more than the loose change in my pockets to live on until then. So, I went back to the shop and bought 2 loaves of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a can of instant coffee. That was going to be my diet for the next 7 days. The following morning I discovered that some twat had nicked the unopened coffee. I realise that as it's almost 30 years on, the odds of me finding the b*****d are slim at best. But when I do, I promise I'm going to go full Liam Neeson on his ass. I was sure this was going to end with "i would have starved if i hadn't taken that pasta bolgnese" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Getting wisdom tooth taken out. Wait a month cost between 150-200 Go to dental hospital and costs nothing but wait 3 months. I decided to wait the month cause I'm a fanny 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 19 minutes ago, Robin.Hood said: Getting wisdom tooth taken out. Wait a month cost between 150-200 Go to dental hospital and costs nothing but wait 3 months. I decided to wait the month cause I'm a fanny You realise that at the dental hospital you can get a first year apprentice who has done their training virtually due to COVID-19? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Just now, Granny Danger said: You realise that at the dental hospital you can get a first year apprentice who has done their training virtually due to COVID-19? I am not going to dental hospital. However price of getting wisdom tooth out is no good. Off to Auchterarder i go 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 23 minutes ago, Robin.Hood said: Getting wisdom tooth taken out. Wait a month cost between 150-200 Go to dental hospital and costs nothing but wait 3 months. I decided to wait the month cause I'm a fanny B&Q have got 10% off pliers at the moment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 minutes ago, Robin.Hood said: I am not going to dental hospital. However price of getting wisdom tooth out is no good. Off to Auchterarder i go Sorry I misread your intention. Hopefully you will still be wise when said tooth is extracted. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Don't know how common this is so don't know if anyone can relate to it but it's happened to me a few times over the years and more frequently again recently as aux leads don't seem to stay tight for any length of time: For some reason the vehicle you're driving won't connect to your Bluetooth so you're driving along listening to tunes through your phone via an aux lead to your car stereo and go to change the tune but the slight movement in your phone means the super sensitive aux lead comes loose so you have re-insert the lead tightly and press play again but the fucking phone is locked so you have to try to enter your password while swerving all over the road trying to avoid pesky schoolkids then when you eventually open the phone and press play, the volume has gone back down on the phone so you go to put the volume back up but the phone is giving you a warning that listening at too high a volume causes your ears to fall off so you have to press OK that you understand the warning then go to put the volume back up then once you get all that sorted you put the phone back down to enjoy your music and as you gently place the phone back down the fucking aux lead comes loose again and you have to repeat the entire process. I'm sure these aux lead manufacturers must use the cheapest most degradable materials so you have to buy a new one every 15 minutes. c***s. No, as my Bluetooth connects. I can also start / change the track using my watch.Oh and biometrics on the phone means a finger tap and it opens the phone... No password required. The wonders of modern technology. Though if your aux lead is popping out, might want to check the jack for fluff. It should not be loose.Or look for a monster headset cable. Has the in line volume control and is of higher quality 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 Went to the bank yesterday to get some money. The cashpoint was out of order so I went inside. As the teller handed me the notes she asked me, "What are you going to do with the money?" Actually that is untrue. I didn't get any cash and even if I did the teller would never have asked such a question as it's none of her business. So why do quiz show hosts always ask contestants what they're going to do with the money they've won (or might win)? I would love somebody to answer, "I'm going to buy a car. What are you going to do with your salary for presenting the show?" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 On 01/12/2020 at 17:55, Empty It said: Old c***s that go to the shop with 15 lottery tickets and asks the one person serving if they can check them at the busiest time of the day. Also shops that have one person on tills at the busiest time of the day. I was stood behind a boy who came in with 10 scratch cards and hadn't even scratched the foil stuff off to see if he won. I was raging that the lassie never told him to scratch it off and come back if he had any winners. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 7 minutes ago, GordonD said: Went to the bank yesterday to get some money. The cashpoint was out of order so I went inside. As the teller handed me the notes she asked me, "What are you going to do with the money?" Actually that is untrue. I didn't get any cash and even if I did the teller would never have asked such a question as it's none of her business. So why do quiz show hosts always ask contestants what they're going to do with the money they've won (or might win)? I would love somebody to answer, "I'm going to buy a car. What are you going to do with your salary for presenting the show?" Lifting your own money out the bank to buy things is a regular, daily occurrence that absolutely everyone does. Nobody cares what you're going to do with your £40 because it's likely boring and mundane. Winning circa £10K or more on a gameshow is obviously a substantial amount of money that your average person won't come into, so they may be more inclined to do something out of the ordinary with it. Have you never been asked what you'd do if you won the lottery? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 Me if I won big money 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, 101 said: I was stood behind a boy who came in with 10 scratch cards and hadn't even scratched the foil stuff off to see if he won. I was raging that the lassie never told him to scratch it off and come back if he had any winners. I've seen this. People buy scratchcards and get the lassie behind the counter to scratch it for them. Could this aspect of customer service be extended? Me: Ah, good morning. I will have a packet of M&Ms and this here copy of Mojo, the monthly magazine for the ageing music snob. Could you oblige by reading out the career retrospective of Leonard Cohen, starting on page 23 please? I cant be bothered and I'm sure the people in the queue behind me wont mind. Edited December 4, 2020 by Academically Deficient Spelling 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Setsniffer Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 20 hours ago, Robin.Hood said: Getting wisdom tooth taken out. Wait a month cost between 150-200 Go to dental hospital and costs nothing but wait 3 months. I decided to wait the month cause I'm a fanny i did similar with a shoulder injury a while back, instead of going to a physio i'd used before, i took the cheaper option of the NHS, waited ages, then eventually i got gel rubbed on my shoulder and some gadget like an ultrasound ran over the area that was injured, must have wasted 4 or 5 months, booked back in with my old physio and they done more in their 50 minute 1hr session than the 10 weeks at my local medical centre 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 7 minutes ago, Academically Deficient said: I've seen this. People buy scratchcards and get the lassie behind the counter to scratch it for them. Could this aspect of customer service be extended? Me: Ah, good morning. I will have a packet of M&Ms and this here copy of Mojo, the monthly magazine for the ageing music snob. Could you oblige by reading out the career retrospective of Leonard Cohen, starting on page 23 please? I cant be bothered and I'm sure the people in the queue behind me wont mind. Ah, good morning, I will have a packet of tissues and this magazine from your top shelf... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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