Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[thomas]

Got followed right to my door today by the police when I was on my 50cc scooter. Got a lecture about how I needed to display L plates when riding, made my point that wasn't the case as I passed my driving test on May 2001 and had passed my CBT. I knew I was OK as I had read it on gov.uk but couldn't find the correct page on the website to prove this while he still claimed he was right. Walked in the house and immediately found the info I needed.

[Jacksgranda]

10 hours ago, BFTD said:

The horror of discovering that language evolves by people mishearing words/phrases, never putting any thought into the meaning behind them, and other people changing their usage to follow because they never thought about the meaning either and are terrified that they might have been wrong all along  

We should all pick a phrase, misuse it as often as possible, and see if we can get it into the public lexicon. I'm going to go with "bite the skin of your teeth". Y'know, because sometimes you end up biting the skin of your teeth with nerves. I'm used to coming across as an idiot anyway, so a wee bit extra for science is no biggie. I could care less.

Low and behold, they were caught flaunting the rules.

[Mark Connolly]

33 minutes ago, thomas said:

Got followed right to my door today by the police when I was on my 50cc scooter. Got a lecture about how I needed to display L plates when riding, made my point that wasn't the case as I passed my driving test on May 2001 and had passed my CBT. I knew I was OK as I had read it on gov.uk but couldn't find the correct page on the website to prove this while he still claimed he was right. Walked in the house and immediately found the info I needed.

[The_Kincardine]

Maybe a trifling example, but 'just desserts' is another one.

[thomas]

51 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

With my fat arse on a 50cc it wouldn't be as spectacular a crash as that.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Champions League theme starts up

Mrs Mullarkey “what national anthem is that?”

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Champions League theme starts up

Mrs Mullarkey “what national anthem is that?”

Should have told her it was The Duchy of Grand Fenwick's

 

 

One for Peter Sellers and Bernard Cribbins fans.

[Central Belt Caley]

On the topic of mispronunciation, a colleague of mine lives in England but her ex and the father of her child lives in Fife. Anyone know where “kur-cal-dee” is? 

[Stellaboz]

47 minutes ago, Central Belt Caley said:

On the topic of mispronunciation, a colleague of mine lives in England but her ex and the father of her child lives in Fife. Anyone know where “kur-cal-dee” is? 

It's pronounced "wee-team". 

[scottsdad]

45 minutes ago, Central Belt Caley said:

On the topic of mispronunciation, a colleague of mine lives in England but her ex and the father of her child lives in Fife. Anyone know where “kur-cal-dee” is? 

I once heard an Englishman refer to "kinkar-deen"

[Dan Steele]

3 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

I once heard an Englishman refer to "kinkar-deen"

Was he shouting for the empty pint glasses to be removed from the golf club bar table?

[johnnydun]

20 hours ago, Newbornbairn said:

I don't have a chest of draws.

Or a Standing Lamp or Nesta Tables.

[tamthebam]

4 hours ago, Central Belt Caley said:

On the topic of mispronunciation, a colleague of mine lives in England but her ex and the father of her child lives in Fife. Anyone know where “kur-cal-dee” is? 

It's pronounced

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Shatfishfonz?

[BFTD]

Mispronouncing towns is fine. Everyone's done it at some time; the locals get a laugh out of it, you get to do the "doh, I'm an idiot" thing, sometimes people will show an interest in where you're actually from, or tell you a bit about the place, and generally it's a good time if everyone has a sense of humour about it.

Occasionally you find the odd arsehole who, despite actually living in an area for years, will insist on pronouncing names as they think it should be, as though the local thickos who live there have been getting it wrong the whole time. They can GTF. May they remain unaware of the piss content of their pints.

[tamthebam]

45 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Shatfishfonz?

Bless you

[Rhys McCabe Hype Train]

The new “yeaahhh brexit” blue passports are horrendous. Shit quality compared to the old red ones and now immediately make me stand out as the “look at me I’m from a country full of racists” character in the passport control queue.

Suppose it’s a government ploy to make us too embarrassed to brandish our new blue travel documents at customs, as a way to cut down outward migration.

[19QOS19]

14 minutes ago, Rhys McCabe Hype Train said:

The new “yeaahhh brexit” blue passports are horrendous. Shit quality compared to the old red ones and now immediately make me stand out as the “look at me I’m from a country full of racists” character in the passport control queue.

Not sure I could tell you what other countries passports look like tbh. 

[mathematics]

3 hours ago, BFTD said:

Mispronouncing towns is fine. Everyone's done it at some time; the locals get a laugh out of it, you get to do the "doh, I'm an idiot" thing, sometimes people will show an interest in where you're actually from, or tell you a bit about the place, and generally it's a good time if everyone has a sense of humour about it.

Occasionally you find the odd arsehole who, despite actually living in an area for years, will insist on pronouncing names as they think it should be, as though the local thickos who live there have been getting it wrong the whole time. They can GTF. May they remain unaware of the piss content of their pints.

I got thoroughly laughed at when I first moved to Pontypridd, not knowing about the double d rule in Welsh.

There was some sympathy given when I noted I actually moved to Ynysybwl.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

31 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

Not sure I could tell you what other countries passports look like tbh. 

I once saw a boy from Nepal whip his one out in the middle of Delhi airport. It unfolded for what seemed an eternity and in the end was about 6 foot long.

Spoiler

His passport was about the size of a C6 envelope though.