Depression

[TxRover]

4 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

Simply because your partner needs the (emotional/mental) distance, doesn’t necessarily prevent your daughter from experiencing a relationship with her grandmother. A frank discussion with her counselor should enable her to find a place where, if necessary and possible, you can be the connection with her mother for your daughter when needed. Given your description, her mother is likely suffering from extreme sleep apnea, especially if she is overweight. Perhaps a sleep specialist might be seen as less confrontational/threatening by her mother?

In the end, though, the answer is to ask your partner “what can I do to help you?” You may not “like” the result, but you can work with her to reach a place that she is comfortable in and that, hopefully, works for everyone involved. With regard to this weekend, much like the KGB, you can be the sword and shield for your partner for the weekend and try to buffer the conflict.

[The Moonster]

42 minutes ago, TxRover said:

Simply because your partner needs the (emotional/mental) distance, doesn’t necessarily prevent your daughter from experiencing a relationship with her grandmother. A frank discussion with her counselor should enable her to find a place where, if necessary and possible, you can be the connection with her mother for your daughter when needed. Given your description, her mother is likely suffering from extreme sleep apnea, especially if she is overweight. Perhaps a sleep specialist might be seen as less confrontational/threatening by her mother?

In the end, though, the answer is to ask your partner “what can I do to help you?” You may not “like” the result, but you can work with her to reach a place that she is comfortable in and that, hopefully, works for everyone involved. With regard to this weekend, much like the KGB, you can be the sword and shield for your partner for the weekend and try to buffer the conflict.

She won't seek any help because she thinks its all related to her weight, which it might be but not seeking help and continuing to complain about all her ills isn't helping anyone. I hope it doesn't come to distancing though take your point. I'm trying to ignore it all for this weekend and give my daughter a good birthday but I'm ready to be a buffer if I need to. 

[TxRover]

11 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

She won't seek any help because she thinks its all related to her weight, which it might be but not seeking help and continuing to complain about all her ills isn't helping anyone. I hope it doesn't come to distancing though take your point. I'm trying to ignore it all for this weekend and give my daughter a good birthday but I'm ready to be a buffer if I need to. 

The job sucks, but you do your best for now and you and your partner will have to figure out whats best for whom in the long run. I know people who only deal with one of their parents even though they are still married to the other. A boundary for your partner and her mother about no complaints or I'm ignoring your messages might be a start, but it's likely to result in more fighting from mothers end...the whole think sucks a**.

[scottsdad]

5 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

Similar situation to what my wife had. In the end she had mostly cut her mum out of her life, as she was just not good to be around. But, my step-daughter adored her Nana. It was an odd circle to square that only really resolved when my step-daughter was old enough to visit on her own without us. 

One of the best decisions my wife ever made, for her own wellbeing, was distancing herself from her mum. Much of it was to do with a terrible childhood - stories that would chill anyone who is a parent. Her mum dies last year and, honestly, it upset her a bit but far less than when a friend of hers died this year.

[thistledo]

On 08/06/2023 at 10:26, The Moonster said:

Been a tough wee while in this house hold and I/we've reached a point where we're sort of stuck with what to do. My partner has some physical and mental health issues going on and I can see how much it's taking out of her. She's going through CBT and it's bringing back a lot of emotional stuff from her childhood and especially about her parents. She gets on well with her parents but is now realising how their parenting techniques (or lack of) have had a huge effect on her health and the way she deals with stuff. She's doing extremely well in confronting a lot of stuff and I can see the progress in her which makes me so happy, but at the same time her realising all this stuff has now strained her relationship with her mum. Her mum doesn't look after herself, she's in terrible fitness, has her own mental health issues and I'm pretty certain she has developed some sort of narcolepsy as she can barely stay awake for a few hours. My partner has tried everything to get her to go to a doctor but she refuses as she thinks the doctor will just tell her to lose weight. Everyday her mum will text her to say how she feels sick and is fed up and still won't do anything about it. My partner is close to putting distance between them because she knows it brings her own mental health down but I don't want that to happen as our daughter loves spending time with them. I just fear their relationship might sour and I don't want one side of the family not being a part of our daughters life. I've told her she could phone her mums GP and raise concerns about her mums health but given she has no consent I don't think the doctor would do anything? Just don't know what to do to help her.

We're due to go away with them this weekend for our daughters birthday and it feels like we're on a collision course. Something we should all be looking forward to but is now becoming a stress. 

It's quite damning the amount of people I know with mental health issues related to parents / parental upbringing, whilst not necessarily having an obviously negative childhood. It all makes a lot of sense if you get a chance to spend a significant amount of time with the parent and child / children. I find it sad and frustrating the amount of traits / issues we inherit from our parents that remain with us all of our lives. They'll have no doubt had some issues passed down from their parents or generations. As a parent now, it's a fucking hard job to do well, constantly aware of my own mental state and desperately trying not to f**k up their little brains with all the problems I have, still inevitably failing at times. This was a long road to say the issues with your partners mum could very well be not entirely her own doing, do you look into that with them, accept it or cut them out for not having done the job they were supposed to? I try and give people the benefit of the doubt and err on the side of caution. I think CBT is an excellent thing, takes a lot of courage to speak to someone and face what is going on in your head, I've no doubt you'll have reassured her how well she is doing in just giving it a chance. 

The health thing is tough, finding an in-road to what would make an individual want to change I'd say is key, leading a horse to water and all that. There is similar things going on in my partners family maybe not yet to the extent yours is facing but it will come one day. 

I hope the weekend away goes well my friend and take time for yourself as being in the supportive role takes it's toll as well. Many happy returns for your daughter as well. 

Edited June 9, 2023 by thistledo

[Venti]

@The Moonster

Really hope your'e doing ok.

Seperation & having your kids in the mix is a nightmare.

Wish I had the answers, but stay strong.

[DA Baracus]

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

Edited June 10, 2023 by DA Baracus

[TxRover]

42 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

Disagree on the “weak and disgusting…piece of shit”. What you are is an individual dealing with life events that we all would struggle with, and slipping into the habits of a lifetime. The addition of a medication is sometimes necessary for various conditions, I take several, and the societal stupidity in trying to adjudge medication for chemical imbalances in the brain in any different way than such things as medication for blood pressure or cholesterol control is harmful.

It’s this stupid response by society as a whole that makes it so difficult for people dealing with issues to feel comfortable taking medications of this sort. It also causes people to stop taking these medications too early/inappropriately. You will bounce back, and you need to forget the “disgusting weakness” bullshit that society is peddling to everyone taking any kind of medication for mental struggles. 17% of the UK population is taking some form of antidepressants…so when you walk down the street, one out of every six people you see is taking something for struggles.

[buchan30]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

Track calories mate, myfitnesspal makes a big difference. I lost about two stone a few times and put it back on. It is easy done, don’t beat yourself up about it. Pick a day to start doing better with food and see if you can fit in, even half an hour’s exercise a few days a week and things will change. Take it one day at a time as well. The weight going on easy, happens to the best of us when life gets in the way. 

[Derry Alli]

Still to get you out for that pint/coffee @DA Baracus. I'm away with work from tomorrow but I'll give you a shout the week after. Keep the heid up mate.

[superwell87]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

I took fluoxetine a good few years back and ,ike yourself I just stopped taking it. Been back on them a few months or so now. Pesonally speaking, I can feel them working most of the time and can tell when I have missed one. You're definitely not weak or anything like that. I am sorry to hear of what you have gone through. Stay strong mate.

[++Ammo - Airdrie++]

This past weeks been one absolute f*cling brain melter. Had to phone in sick on Thursday/Friday for the first time since having flu in December 2020.  Totally work related aswell. I've worked hell of a hard the last few years in work and outside of it to do everything I can to help my mental state. Gave up drinking most weekends, managed to shift 5 stone In weight, got off the mirtazipine, ditched an opiod addiction etc etc.... But every so often ....  Bang. Think the last time was about January there, told the work I wanted to step down as manager, absolutely frying my brain. This has rumbled on getting the right replacement and apparently it's the 17th of July the new man starts.... Having been told every month since March, "next month".

Throw that in with the workload getting about 50% bigger with no extra staff (infact, lost 2) then it's just one big ballache.

Had to go back to the docs and get back on the propanolol, the physically anxiety is absolutely ridiculous, skin constantly feels like its crawling, have to psych myself up everytime to go to work, go on a site visit, go to a meeting, like honestly a 15 minute pep talk to try and get myself out. Horrible.

[FK1Bairn]

15 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Been back on fluoxetine for just over a month now. Was on it for about 18 months a few years back but then just decided to stop (the brain zaps were a bit crazy for a week but then nothing).

Unsure why I didn't get back on them sooner. Feel like it's really making a difference. Isn't a magic pill that cures everything, but it does pull me up to a platform where I'm more capable of tackling things. 

My mum died in February and I thought I was ok. However I was dealing with it unconsciously via my usual (awful) coping method, that being eating. I put on a bit of weight, on an already disgracefully/disgustingly/abysmally/shamefully/embarrassingly frame, without even being that aware of it. If I was tracking calories it would have been glaring clear, but I wasn't. It was a subconscious coping method I think. No excuse for how badly I've let myself down and how weak and disgusting and a piece of shit I've been, but I hope to try and bounce back so that I can at least attempt to try and have a semblance of a life, despite all I've missed due my disgusting weakness.

You done what you done at the time as a coping mechanism. That's human nature. What you've realised now is that you want to adjust your lifestyle to get you back to how you were pre your mum's death and for that you should be commending yourself, not beating yourself up. 

Take things one day at a time and you will get through this. Give yourself something to focus on each day even if that's only a 10 minute walk around the block. 

Good luck, keep your chin up

[TxRover]

6 hours ago, ++Ammo - Airdrie++ said:

This past weeks been one absolute f*cling brain melter. Had to phone in sick on Thursday/Friday for the first time since having flu in December 2020.  Totally work related aswell. I've worked hell of a hard the last few years in work and outside of it to do everything I can to help my mental state. Gave up drinking most weekends, managed to shift 5 stone In weight, got off the mirtazipine, ditched an opiod addiction etc etc.... But every so often ....  Bang. Think the last time was about January there, told the work I wanted to step down as manager, absolutely frying my brain. This has rumbled on getting the right replacement and apparently it's the 17th of July the new man starts.... Having been told every month since March, "next month".

Throw that in with the workload getting about 50% bigger with no extra staff (infact, lost 2) then it's just one big ballache.

Had to go back to the docs and get back on the propanolol, the physically anxiety is absolutely ridiculous, skin constantly feels like its crawling, have to psych myself up everytime to go to work, go on a site visit, go to a meeting, like honestly a 15 minute pep talk to try and get myself out. Horrible.

Excellent news that the replacement is finally in queue. That’s the first rung in that ladder assured, now to make sure you make it to that with minimal disruption. Sick days are there for use, not to save up, despite what management/owners/society like to say. As I’ve said before, 17% of the UK is on medications for depression, and very few realize it’s 15% for anxiety. The use of a medication when things snowball is smart, not what some ignorant people say. Recognizing the problem and taking action on it with your provider is a huge positive step, but given your description of the feelings, have you tried CBT. Adding that arrow to your arsenal might be a good choice, as it often proves effective in reducing perceived problems.

Keep up the positive reactions to issues arising, and 17 July will be here soon!

[SweeperDee]

I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit in terms of substance misuse, but instead of stimulants I’ve found myself using opioids like Oxycodone and Dihydrocodeine, alongside diazepam to try and numb myself. I potentially might have MS and with everything going on with my dad passing away, and my inability to process grief I just feel like I need to not feel anything. I don’t feel fatigue, pain, but I also don’t feel emotion anymore. However the lows, when they do come are crushing. I’ve said it before but in using drugs I have it in the back of my head that maybe just hopefully it’ll end up just ending it all suddenly. I don’t take so much that it would end up like that, I just kinda hope it’ll just happen. I’m back drinking as well and combined with everything else I really just don’t want to feel anything. I’m sick of worrying, feeling guilty and just constantly paralysed. 
 

Sorry for the ramble but I just needed to get it down. Even writing this whilst under the influence is difficult. I can barely type right now. 

[TxRover]

3 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit in terms of substance misuse, but instead of stimulants I’ve found myself using opioids like Oxycodone and Dihydrocodeine, alongside diazepam to try and numb myself. I potentially might have MS and with everything going on with my dad passing away, and my inability to process grief I just feel like I need to not feel anything. I don’t feel fatigue, pain, but I also don’t feel emotion anymore. However the lows, when they do come are crushing. I’ve said it before but in using drugs I have it in the back of my head that maybe just hopefully it’ll end up just ending it all suddenly. I don’t take so much that it would end up like that, I just kinda hope it’ll just happen. I’m back drinking as well and combined with everything else I really just don’t want to feel anything. I’m sick of worrying, feeling guilty and just constantly paralysed. 
 

Sorry for the ramble but I just needed to get it down. Even writing this whilst under the influence is difficult. I can barely type right now. 

Right, if possible pause for now and rest. When you wake, it’s time to tackle the smallest snowball first. You know the problems and risk of combining the items you are right now, and someone is prescribing the diazepam, so maybe it’s time to reach out again and seek more help. An inability to process emotions is far from uncommon, and can be treated with a good counselor and trust…sometimes a difficult combination, but something you can find, especially with help. Calling 111 is a good option to contact people with experience in these issues, and they can help.

Writing it out here shows you understand your need and desire to get help…don’t discount the strength you have despite the fears and guilt. Calling someone to help you understand that the guilt is part of the mental health issue, and not something based upon actual guilt or something you should feel, will help you make the first steps and make them easier.

Stay safe, m8…we’re all here and all understand.

[pawpar]

Had an horrific last 18 months. In January 2022 my mother went into hospital after suffering a stroke she was then diagnosed as having dementia. My father then tried to kill me 3 times. Firstly by trying to punch me but because I punched him back that did not work. He then tried to make sure I could not escape from my bedroom by locking me in my bedroom when I was asleep and then removing the slates from the house so that if I tried to get out off the house via the window I would end up dead by crashing through the porch. Eventually he was admitted to stratheden in May 2022. My mother then came out of hospital on 1st July 2022. She would have came out earlier but because of the physical abuse my father dealt out with to both me and my mother she could not come home until my so called father was admitted to a psychiatric ward. My father was then due to come out in November but this was delayed until on 6th December 2022 I was informed on that date that my father passed away. My mother was crestfallen she had been married to him for 63 years. Since the 1st of July last year I have been looking after my mum as a full time carer. I am trying to do this as well as trying to hold down a full time job as well. Christ this is hard as a result of this my health is getting worse. I have now developed diabetes because I am looking after my mum and as a result can not get out of the house because I do not get any support from my 2 brothers who couldn't care less about my mum and just go on about her inhertance. I couldn't care less about any money. I would rather my mum lives until 100 than care less about any stupid inheritance. I was due to go to Norway 2 weeks ago after booking this trip when the fixtures got announced last year. I lost about £300 because my brothers are so bloody selfish. I would rather be with my mum though. Watched both games against Norway and Georgia with my mum and could never have been happier when I saw the look of joy on my mother's face when we won both those games. My mother because of her prognosis will only get worse. I love my mum and every night I cry myself to sleep because she does not deserve this. Everybody says I am doing a great job but I am not my mum just says every day that she would rather be dead. I say to her that she has 4 grandchildren who love her so much. I am crying while I am typing this because I worry about my mother. I am currently seeing a therapist and he is a great help. My health is getting worse because no one in my family is helping me and as well as developing diabetes I can not move my right arm because of lifting my mum that much. Fife council have been bloody brilliant but I feel that if I do not get help within the next 9 months then I will end up in hospital. This will mean that my mum will go in to care which I will fight tooth and nail to make sure this will not happen. Sorry for the rant but just thought I would like to vent. Love my mum.   

[BigBo10]

19 hours ago, pawpar said:

Had an horrific last 18 months. In January 2022 my mother went into hospital after suffering a stroke she was then diagnosed as having dementia. My father then tried to kill me 3 times. Firstly by trying to punch me but because I punched him back that did not work. He then tried to make sure I could not escape from my bedroom by locking me in my bedroom when I was asleep and then removing the slates from the house so that if I tried to get out off the house via the window I would end up dead by crashing through the porch. Eventually he was admitted to stratheden in May 2022. My mother then came out of hospital on 1st July 2022. She would have came out earlier but because of the physical abuse my father dealt out with to both me and my mother she could not come home until my so called father was admitted to a psychiatric ward. My father was then due to come out in November but this was delayed until on 6th December 2022 I was informed on that date that my father passed away. My mother was crestfallen she had been married to him for 63 years. Since the 1st of July last year I have been looking after my mum as a full time carer. I am trying to do this as well as trying to hold down a full time job as well. Christ this is hard as a result of this my health is getting worse. I have now developed diabetes because I am looking after my mum and as a result can not get out of the house because I do not get any support from my 2 brothers who couldn't care less about my mum and just go on about her inhertance. I couldn't care less about any money. I would rather my mum lives until 100 than care less about any stupid inheritance. I was due to go to Norway 2 weeks ago after booking this trip when the fixtures got announced last year. I lost about £300 because my brothers are so bloody selfish. I would rather be with my mum though. Watched both games against Norway and Georgia with my mum and could never have been happier when I saw the look of joy on my mother's face when we won both those games. My mother because of her prognosis will only get worse. I love my mum and every night I cry myself to sleep because she does not deserve this. Everybody says I am doing a great job but I am not my mum just says every day that she would rather be dead. I say to her that she has 4 grandchildren who love her so much. I am crying while I am typing this because I worry about my mother. I am currently seeing a therapist and he is a great help. My health is getting worse because no one in my family is helping me and as well as developing diabetes I can not move my right arm because of lifting my mum that much. Fife council have been bloody brilliant but I feel that if I do not get help within the next 9 months then I will end up in hospital. This will mean that my mum will go in to care which I will fight tooth and nail to make sure this will not happen. Sorry for the rant but just thought I would like to vent. Love my mum.   

Vent long and vent often pal. Sometimes these posts can be enough to release the stress and tension you’re feeling. Here is a safe space and (not me personally) there are a few who have suffered similar and will offer advice, support and words of comfort. Keep your head held high because hard as it is you’re doing a great thing. 

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

On 01/07/2023 at 02:50, pawpar said:

Had an horrific last 18 months. In January 2022 my mother went into hospital after suffering a stroke she was then diagnosed as having dementia. My father then tried to kill me 3 times. Firstly by trying to punch me but because I punched him back that did not work. He then tried to make sure I could not escape from my bedroom by locking me in my bedroom when I was asleep and then removing the slates from the house so that if I tried to get out off the house via the window I would end up dead by crashing through the porch. Eventually he was admitted to stratheden in May 2022. My mother then came out of hospital on 1st July 2022. She would have came out earlier but because of the physical abuse my father dealt out with to both me and my mother she could not come home until my so called father was admitted to a psychiatric ward. My father was then due to come out in November but this was delayed until on 6th December 2022 I was informed on that date that my father passed away. My mother was crestfallen she had been married to him for 63 years. Since the 1st of July last year I have been looking after my mum as a full time carer. I am trying to do this as well as trying to hold down a full time job as well. Christ this is hard as a result of this my health is getting worse. I have now developed diabetes because I am looking after my mum and as a result can not get out of the house because I do not get any support from my 2 brothers who couldn't care less about my mum and just go on about her inhertance. I couldn't care less about any money. I would rather my mum lives until 100 than care less about any stupid inheritance. I was due to go to Norway 2 weeks ago after booking this trip when the fixtures got announced last year. I lost about £300 because my brothers are so bloody selfish. I would rather be with my mum though. Watched both games against Norway and Georgia with my mum and could never have been happier when I saw the look of joy on my mother's face when we won both those games. My mother because of her prognosis will only get worse. I love my mum and every night I cry myself to sleep because she does not deserve this. Everybody says I am doing a great job but I am not my mum just says every day that she would rather be dead. I say to her that she has 4 grandchildren who love her so much. I am crying while I am typing this because I worry about my mother. I am currently seeing a therapist and he is a great help. My health is getting worse because no one in my family is helping me and as well as developing diabetes I can not move my right arm because of lifting my mum that much. Fife council have been bloody brilliant but I feel that if I do not get help within the next 9 months then I will end up in hospital. This will mean that my mum will go in to care which I will fight tooth and nail to make sure this will not happen. Sorry for the rant but just thought I would like to vent. Love my mum.   

You need immediate help from Fife council, you should be getting carers coming in a couple of times a day, you getting paid carers allowance/attendance allowance? Its not much, but still something. Similar happened to me with my 'so called' sister walking away from the whole thing. I don't have a sister now. she is dead to me. I was lucky though as my Mrs is a retired nurse, and she has been brilliant, I'm working full time so I couldn't cope with it, it's just too much.

All the best, Dundee city council were a good help to me, hope you get the same help/support from Fife.

['WellDel]

On 01/07/2023 at 02:50, pawpar said:

Had an horrific last 18 months. In January 2022 my mother went into hospital after suffering a stroke she was then diagnosed as having dementia. My father then tried to kill me 3 times. Firstly by trying to punch me but because I punched him back that did not work. He then tried to make sure I could not escape from my bedroom by locking me in my bedroom when I was asleep and then removing the slates from the house so that if I tried to get out off the house via the window I would end up dead by crashing through the porch. Eventually he was admitted to stratheden in May 2022. My mother then came out of hospital on 1st July 2022. She would have came out earlier but because of the physical abuse my father dealt out with to both me and my mother she could not come home until my so called father was admitted to a psychiatric ward. My father was then due to come out in November but this was delayed until on 6th December 2022 I was informed on that date that my father passed away. My mother was crestfallen she had been married to him for 63 years. Since the 1st of July last year I have been looking after my mum as a full time carer. I am trying to do this as well as trying to hold down a full time job as well. Christ this is hard as a result of this my health is getting worse. I have now developed diabetes because I am looking after my mum and as a result can not get out of the house because I do not get any support from my 2 brothers who couldn't care less about my mum and just go on about her inhertance. I couldn't care less about any money. I would rather my mum lives until 100 than care less about any stupid inheritance. I was due to go to Norway 2 weeks ago after booking this trip when the fixtures got announced last year. I lost about £300 because my brothers are so bloody selfish. I would rather be with my mum though. Watched both games against Norway and Georgia with my mum and could never have been happier when I saw the look of joy on my mother's face when we won both those games. My mother because of her prognosis will only get worse. I love my mum and every night I cry myself to sleep because she does not deserve this. Everybody says I am doing a great job but I am not my mum just says every day that she would rather be dead. I say to her that she has 4 grandchildren who love her so much. I am crying while I am typing this because I worry about my mother. I am currently seeing a therapist and he is a great help. My health is getting worse because no one in my family is helping me and as well as developing diabetes I can not move my right arm because of lifting my mum that much. Fife council have been bloody brilliant but I feel that if I do not get help within the next 9 months then I will end up in hospital. This will mean that my mum will go in to care which I will fight tooth and nail to make sure this will not happen. Sorry for the rant but just thought I would like to vent. Love my mum.   

That's a helluva lot you've been through, and an enormous amount to deal with on your own. Huge respect to you for getting to where you are but it sounds like you need a wee break soon.

I'm sorry your family aren't of any help with your mum, have you considered or looked into the possibility of respite care? A couple of days or maybe a week where you know she will be well cared for and you can reset a wee bit physically and mentally could do you the world of good. Maybe worth checking what your local council etc have to offer and if you're eligible. 

Good luck to you, you're obviously a good person doing a very good and selfless thing for your mum, and keep posting here whenever you feel the need. A good rant never does any harm and there are always decent folk here to interact with.