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Pie and Bovril - Most frightening posters in history


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I only got one really mental DM, from some seething *** a few years back. I was running the Edinburgh Marathon for Macmillan and had a wee link in my sig for it. This was around the same time some Rangers fans got into bother in an away UEFA cup tie and naturally the thread went a bit mad. Can't remember his username but it was something along the lines of Jelavic£4mman. Anyway I got a DM from him "Can I sponser you a £1000 to die from fucking cancer? Ur Da: Pedo, Ur Ma: Slut". Naturally I posted it onto the thread and he got the pish ripped out of him, even by No8 of all people. He never posted again, no idea whether he was banned or came back as an alias. Pretty funny. I didn't get my grand either, though tbf I haven't yet died of cancer. 

I got a few mental PMs on Facebook around the time of the referee's strike from Seamus. I've no idea why he took the ripping Lennon got so personally but his paranoia was incredible. He believed folk from his work were out to make him fail, thought the SFA were playing with fire because Celtic's chairman knew a few gangsters and was convinced his mates wife was trying to pull him. A bit of a shame really as he was actually a decent c**t when I met him at the P&B Golf Day.

 

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11 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Standard P&B procedure.

"I'm new here" = alias.

Ah, ok then. should have remembered this from my previous accounts

Cheers

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Not P&B related but I got a Facebook message from a random Aberdeen fan asking me if I thought I was a big man and that I'd be "sorted out" next time I went up there. I've still absolutely no idea what it was about

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Someone mentioned Steven the raith fan a few pages back. I remember him turning up at walkabout after the fives one year, absolutely stinking of B.O, accompanied by some foreign lass. In fact, I'm sure he was going out with "Middleton mouse" that used to post on here.

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I remember Jelavic4mMan. There used to be a sticked thread on the Celtic v Rangers forum detailing the rules of that subforum and he had a fit on there because KB called him 'Superfan' because he said something like 'he would do all means necessary to defend Rangers'.

Maniac.

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I have met Kilt on a couple of occasions (at the 5s tournaments) and he seemed okay in person.  Although I did enjoy repeatedly volleying the ball off his body - I managed to rattle him in the stomach and nuts before injuring his wrist.  Reina also scored a beauty past him.

Clyde Till I Die was another that was absolutely fine whenever I met him, but I certainly wouldn't want to get on his bad side.  

Steven the Raith fan also turned up at the 5s and as Philpy said was a bit smelly.  He said he lost his wallet, and had no money, so my mate Del let him kip on the floor and we gave him a train fare home the next day.  But he was very strange, didn't really talk to anyone, and just creeped Reina out.  I think we said we would meet him at a certain place in ten minutes and just fucked off on him.  He then followed me about the forum for that season and quickly got seriously pissed off with my "Hello Down There" signature as Ross County steam rollered Raith to the title.  In one post I called him Gonzo (as he had a massive nose and I was referencing the muppet) and he went on a tirade about I knew nothing of his porn habits, so I hadn't the right to call him Gonzo. :lol:

 

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Probably got culled in the purge, but Swampy once called me a Socratic c**t and how he was going to shit on my face. I was just mildly taking the pish out of his right on sociological gobbledygook.

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6 hours ago, Francesc Fabregas said:

Kilt just couldn't help himself. A guy who was, on the whole of it, alright offline but who really came into his own with his saucy emojis and overenthusiastic private messages. He was called out for so many offences by various female posters. I remember he found love with Evie, I think, and wrote a long post about their sex life, using the spoiler tags to hide the juiciest parts without realising they could be seen if highlighted by the cursor. I copied and pasted it on my old laptop, I'll dig it out when I get in this evening.

Yes lads, I've just had a look through my old laptop (I use it exclusively for playing a Football Manager 2010 save game with Arsenal (currently in the year 2093) and watching videos) and I've found it. It was first posted in June 2009 and, reading it back, this was surely a knotty period for even someone with Kilt's lifestyle:

Quote

 

I have tomorrow off. That should be a RTBC but I'm helping Evie move flat as she's moving in with Alexis in her flat at Scotstoun - that's her new lover.

I was the love interest between relationships so, yes, I've fucked a bisexual lesbian but as the Nazi thought police are watching, that's all you'll get to know.

Suffice to say we spent yesterday saying goodbye and we both overslept after shagging each other senseless in a final Bacchanalian orgy of Pagan sexuality so I've very happy to have experienced that :wub: and I know that Evie is moving on to a new, hopefully fulfilling relationship with Alexis.

It's just like Have I Got News For You, isn't it - guess the headline. You've only got a few miserable cnuts on here to blame for not getting the full picture! :P

 

Nick (White Witch = Good Guy)

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