Derry Alli Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 42 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said: Years ago Mrs F tried this thing where she took a mouthful of toothpaste and went down on me. About 3 seconds later I was screaming in pain trying desperately to clean the old boy under the shower. Minter. I've used a few things - mostly ice cubes and cocaine - to try enhance sexual gratification with a woman but what in shitting christ was the thought process behind fucking toothpaste exactly? "Here, you wanting minty baws the night?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 1 hour ago, MONKMAN said: Smoke crack at 5am with a couple of my mates and a homeless woman, in some dodgy side street in Amsterdam. It wasn’t a terrible experience, quite the opposite in fact, but not something I’m particularly proud of or would rush to do again. This has really captured the essence of the thread for me. No. The thread says "never again". @MONKMAN clearly leaves the door open with "not in a rush". He's going back to the homeless woman by 2025. (If she's not dead). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: No. The thread says "never again". @MONKMAN clearly leaves the door open with "not in a rush". He's going back to the homeless woman by 2025. (If she's not dead). Well.... He knows where to pick me up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bernardblack Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Open Goal is excruciating. Every episode is Simon Ferry in his weird Dundee/Weegie hybrid accent asking some ex-*** 'What was Walter Smith like in the dressing room eh?' or 'What was Boydy's diet like?' And that Paul Slane, a boy who has played about 15 games of professional football in his life, is as funny as Aids.I just don’t understand the appeal of Open Goal.“Aw that must’ve been a great laugh eh” I can just about make it through a show if it’s someone that I really want to hear about 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Guess i don't feel bad about havnt never listened to it before. Yay 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Smoke crack at 5am with a couple of my mates and a homeless woman, in some dodgy side street in Amsterdam. It wasn’t a terrible experience, quite the opposite in fact, but not something I’m particularly proud of or would rush to do again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Years ago Mrs F tried this thing where she took a mouthful of toothpaste and went down on me. About 3 seconds later I was screaming in pain trying desperately to clean the old boy under the shower. Minter.Oral B, aye? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Once put deep heat on my scrotum by mistake. I will not do that again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Once put deep heat on my scrotum by mistake. I will not do that again. I have literally just in the last 6 minutes learned what your username means. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 46 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 58 minutes ago, coprolite said: Once put deep heat on my scrotum by mistake. I will not do that again. I have literally just in the last 6 minutes learned what your username means. Ancient Greek soldiers? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 50 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: 1 hour ago, coprolite said: Once put deep heat on my scrotum by mistake. I will not do that again. I have literally just in the last 6 minutes learned what your username means. It doesn't often come up in conversation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 I have literally just in the last 6 minutes learned what your username means. I bet it's a shit meaning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Enter into a business partnership with a Jehovah's Witness. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 48 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said: Ancient Greek soldiers? Nope 27 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: I have literally just in the last 6 minutes learned what your username means. I bet it's a shit meaning. ^^ kens 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 37 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Nope ^^ kens One of the lost tribes of Israel? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Took a bite of a soap on a rope, thinking it was a biscuit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Took a bite of a soap on a rope, thinking it was a biscuit. My father-in-law did something similar. His Mrs is a cleaner and left haz tabs in her pocket so put them up on the windowsill. He came along and took one thinking they were Extra Strong mints. Silly b*****d. They look similar but I can't believe he never got a whiff of it before putting in his mouth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Shandön Par said: Took a bite of a soap on a rope, thinking it was a biscuit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Dating a smoker. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Smoking a dater. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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