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Sensible Legal ways to make money.


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Basically what you want to do to make some money, legal money yeah? Ok. The best bet would be to try and get one of those premium number thingys', I'm not sure how you get them but I'm sure you just ring the council or something..you could probably just do it online as well, I mean you can do everything online these days can't you? But anyway, yeah, get one of those number things' and you'll want to get some stickers..maybe about 500 to start off with, yeah 500 will do. I mean you could get more but that would just be a bit too ambitious to start off with and then, what you want to put on those stickers is the phrase "How's my summarising?"

And people will probably get in touch with you and say it could do with some improving. Or they might not I suppose, I mean you can't really tell what the man in the street will do..it really does boggle the mind so it does.

And you'll probably, well I should say hopefully make quite a lot of cash. Which would be nice I suppose.

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Offer frustrated house wives an on demand oral sex service. Perform the task badly. Print off some business cards that you leave behind. Set up an premium rate phone line. "How's my muff diving?"

Profit.

Oi! I've already done that one you c**t.

You, (KnightswoodBear), should go about Scottish Football forums copying ideas from other people's posts and passing them off as your own work. Your signature could contain the number for a phone line which would be at a premium rate, with the message 'How's My Fucking Blatant Thieving?' Although your thieving is of a very high quality, you would still get inundated with phone calls from irate posters like me, (Dee Man), telling you to fucking pack it in.

Within days you will be posting pictures of yourself like Floyd Mayweather with bundles of cash on your bed.

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Rope off a bit of waste ground. Add some rusty barbed wire, half bricks. wandering rapid dugs, evil Aberdeen seagulls, broken buckie bottles and junkies needles for that local touch. Call it "Scotland's toughest obstacle course event" and charge steroid abusing fitness twats 50 quid to enter.

If they survive the obstacle course the winner gets to eat a burger from one of those burger vans you see at Hampden for Scotland matches...

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Go to a playoff match. Stand next to some kid. Some footballer will chuck his shirt at the kid because footballers are sentimental, but here is the genius part- you're bigger and nastier than the kid so nick the shirt off the wee scrote, wait til the heat dies down and flog it on e-bay 6 months later...

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Oi! I've already done that one you c**t. You, (KnightswoodBear), should go about Scottish Football forums copying ideas from other people's posts and passing them off as your own work. Your signature could contain the number for a phone line which would be at a premium rate, with the message 'How's My Fucking Blatant Thieving?' Although your thieving is of a very high quality, you would still get inundated with phone calls from irate posters like me, (Dee Man), telling you to fucking pack it in. Within days you will be posting pictures of yourself like Floyd Mayweather with bundles of cash on your bed.

^^ Isn't bothered

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Chew a piece of gum. Claim it was chewed by a professional ball player and sell it on ebay. Net a cool $10,000.

Yes, people truly are that dumb. In 2002, a piece of gum, allegedly chewed by Arizona Diamondback's player Luis Gonzalez was sold on ebay for $10K. It mattered not that the seller already had a conviction for forgery and that the security guard who allegedly handed him the used gum signed an affidavit stating he had not done so.

http://espn.go.com/sportsbusiness/news/2002/0415/1369298.html

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Searching for that link; I learned that someone once sold an air-guitar on ebay for $5.50 using the blurb "Just imagine walking into your local bar, sitting down and having seven or eight mixed drinks and pulling out this latently homosexual instrument of over intoxication." The seller also pointed out that by buying an air guitar you are purchasing absolutely nothing.

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Advertise that you have a Guide to make big money, legally and sensibly. Charge £50 for the Guide that will make you ££££££££££s overnight. Once you receive payment, send your customer a sheet of paper that says:

Advertise that you have a Guide to make big money, legally and sensibly. Charge £50 for the Guide that will make you ££££££££££s overnight. Once you receive payment, send your customer a sheet of paper that says:

Advertise that you have a guide to make big money, legally and sensibly. Charge £50 for the Guide that will make you ££££££££££s overnight. Once you receive payment, send your customer a sheet of paper that says:

Sit back and be prepared to beat off the gold-digging babes with a large shitty stick.

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Wait to receive a phone call from one of these annoying marketing survey companies, for once say you aren't just about to leave for work or that you are too busy and you do have 2 minutes to answer their questions. Say yes to all of their questions and that you are happy for them to share your details with partnering companies. Hang up the phone, set up a premium rate phone number and divert all calls incoming to your phone to this premium rate service and sit back and enjoy those 5:30pm phone calls as the money comes in.

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Get the licence from Terry's to start producing these again. I'd buy loads of em.

My mate used to rob his dad's piggy bank and buy them off the ice cream van by the dozen and scoff the lot as none of us liked them. He's still a skinny c**t as well.

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