GordonD Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 4 hours ago, gavin_3110 said: Hate when you think you've just dropped an absolute brammer of a shite, swivel round and there's just a wee malteser peeping back at you. Do you always inspect the contents of the bowl when you've had a dump? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 1 minute ago, GordonD said: Do you always inspect the contents of the bowl when you've had a dump? Only when he stands up to wipe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 1 hour ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: You have my word. Last time it was a rape, but I didn't get selected. First time I've ever been delighted to lose a raffle. You're off the hook for 2 years, hence why I'm a seething mess. I can't help but think the fact I live a ten minute walk from the place is going to mean I randomly get called up on a regular basis. If you actually served on the jury, it's five years. I was called up in April this year even though I was on a jury in November 2014. I filled in the form telling them and was excused. You'd think they would check that sort of thing before sending out the letters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 I've never been called for jury duty but surely it's better than going to work unless you actually like your job? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: I've never been called for jury duty but surely it's better than going to work unless you actually like your job? You spend all day surrounded by utterly braindead morons in what can only be described as a disorganised shambles. But enough about my work... ETA: The issue with being called for the High Court is that the case is almost a certainty to be 'bad'. Like a weightlifting injury or the Beast thread on here. Edited August 11, 2016 by Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDuffman Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Was called to Glasgow High Court this week. Luckily I had my holiday booked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 1 hour ago, GordonD said: If you actually served on the jury, it's five years. I was called up in April this year even though I was on a jury in November 2014. I filled in the form telling them and was excused. You'd think they would check that sort of thing before sending out the letters. My sister's been called up every 5 years according to your information, according to her every fortnight. Anyway, she is a retired school teacher, her husband who has never been called is a retired IT guy for Scottish Power, and I'm a general layabout who also hasn't been called, but have always been on the electoral register. What kind of criteria do they go on when they decide who to call? I'm desperate to send some white collar criminal down. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cream Cheese Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Shrugging Jury Duty is easy. They ask you if you have any favourable views towards a particular race, religion, gender.... etc. Just make yourself out as a Donald Trumpet and you're right off the hook. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Maw Sanchez got called for it last year. Pretty certain she was close to five years and a day since she'd last done it. She was unhappy about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Slugs. Found a few on the kitchen floor lately, always in the middle of the floor and no hint of a trail to try and figure out what direction they came from. Do the wee feckers teleport themselves there? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 5 minutes ago, peasy23 said: Slugs. Found a few on the kitchen floor lately, always in the middle of the floor and no hint of a trail to try and figure out what direction they came from. Do the wee feckers teleport themselves there? Put an unbroken ring of salt round the edge of your kitchen, that'll show you where they're coming in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Folk who run for the bus and then just slow down as soon as the bus driver appears to be pulling over. ... unless the driver just thinks "f*** you lazy b**ch" and pulls away before they reach the stop, in which case it's just glorious to watch the resultant seething mess. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Just now, throbber said: the lass bus out of Saigon Sounds more sjc's style than yours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherrif John Bunnell Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Hordes of tourists who clog up pedestrian crossings by point blank refusing to cross the road on a red man, even if there is no sign of traffic in either direction. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumigoo Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Hordes of tourists who clog up pedestrian crossings by point blank refusing to cross the road on a red man, even if there is no sign of traffic in either direction. Add to that hoards of tourists who suddenly come to a complete halt in the middle of the street to take multiple photos of the most mundane shit imaginable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Hordes of tourists who clog up pedestrian crossings by point blank refusing to cross the road on a red man, even if there is no sign of traffic in either direction. I do this when teaching my weans how to cross the road. The weans are giving me a look like 'come on da there's clearly nae fucking traffic and pensioners are lapping us' but still...it's the done thing. f**k tourists though, they've got no excuse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclizine Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I got accosted by an American woman on Castle Street in Inverness a year or so back demanding to know where the castle was. I pointed out the large castle shaped building on the hill above her and she argued that I was mistaken and that it wasn't the castle. She then pointed at some rabbits on the grass and asked me if they were rabbits. I genuinely don't know if she was taking the piss or just an idiot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 7 minutes ago, Cyclizine said: I got accosted by an American woman on Castle Street in Inverness a year or so back demanding to know where the castle was. I pointed out the large castle shaped building on the hill above her and she argued that I was mistaken and that it wasn't the castle. She then pointed at some rabbits on the grass and asked me if they were rabbits. I genuinely don't know if she was taking the piss or just an idiot. Missed opportunity there! Real live haggis - easily mistaken for rabbits .. and a haggis nest that looks just like a castle. She would have been thrilled. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 2 minutes ago, Cyclizine said: I got accosted by an American woman on Castle Street in Inverness a year or so back demanding to know where the castle was. I pointed out the large castle shaped building on the hill above her and she argued that I was mistaken and that it wasn't the castle. She then pointed at some rabbits on the grass and asked me if they were rabbits. I genuinely don't know if she was taking the piss or just an idiot. Back in the day I was standing chatting at the stage door of the theatre I was working at on Leicester Square. An IRA bomb had gone off the night before, nobody hurt as I remember, and the Police were on their hands and knees looking for evidence. An American couple came up to me and asked what they were doing. I told them Princess Di had lost a contact lens. "Aw, that's cute." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 6 minutes ago, Fullerene said: Missed opportunity there! Real live haggis - easily mistaken for rabbits .. and a haggis nest that looks just like a castle. She would have been thrilled. Then sell her a bridge. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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