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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Just now, Rugster said:

I'll raise you people who feed seagulls. 

I've just watched a guy in a mask with a 10kg sack of seeds and a jug throw them all over ten closes' worth of backs. And I've seen a woman who lives in a close opposite me throw out the same stuff regularly. Absolute oddballs, the lot of them.

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I'll raise you people who feed seagulls. 


My dad's now got a pet seagull. He noticed a one legged gull in his garden a few years ago so he fed her. She kept coming back and it's now a bit freaky how much of a pet it is. It sits on his front fence shouting until he goes out (a few times each day). If he's not in it not going quick enough it goes round the back where if it sits on his shed it can see his chair. Genius.
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You see people feeding the ducks at Callander Park in Falkirk which is absolutely pointless as the seagulls get it all before the ducks have a chance my tink of a dog normally jumps in too scaring the ducks away. There used to be a character that went down  there to feed the swans, he looked like 'Mysterious Girl' era Peter Andre with the curtains harcut and a big dollar sign medallion and puffa  jacket  I once had a conversation with him where he went on a mad racist rant. I didn't know what to say so just said it was nice of him to feed the Swans his reply was 'some c**t has to'  

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16 minutes ago, pandarilla said:

 


My dad's now got a pet seagull. He noticed a one legged gull in his garden a few years ago so he fed her. She kept coming back and it's now a bit freaky how much of a pet it is. It sits on his front fence shouting until he goes out (a few times each day). If he's not in it not going quick enough it goes round the back where if it sits on his shed it can see his chair. Genius.

 

Firstly, how do you know it's a she?

It's not a pet, it only comes there because it knows it's a feeding ground, don't feed it and it will eventually go away, or die from starvation.

What does it shout when it's sitting on the fence? "Hoi you lazy bugger, get oot here and feed me and it better no be fucking bread again"

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11 minutes ago, Fae_the_'briggs said:

It's not a pet, it only comes there because it knows it's a feeding ground, don't feed it and it will eventually go away, or die from starvation.

That's every pet though.

Edit: or children.

Edited by The_Kincardine
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Firstly, how do you know it's a she?
It's not a pet, it only comes there because it knows it's a feeding ground, don't feed it and it will eventually go away, or die from starvation.
What does it shout when it's sitting on the fence? "Hoi you lazy bugger, get oot here and feed me and it better no be fucking bread again"


It gets chicken and meat scraps - and basically turns its nose up when it's just bread.

I thought it was weird to begin with but it's actually quite cute to see. Man and bird bonding.

My dad says it's a she; and who am I to argue? I wouldn't have believed the bit about the garden shed but I saw it with my only eyes.
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1 minute ago, pandarilla said:

 


Is that your only problem with them?

 

They scare the other birds away, sit on the kitchen window sill and bash away at it, shit on your car and steal the food out of your plate/hand. Their saving grace is that they're cowards, fly a raptor around and they f**k right off for months and don't come back for months, if not years. Haven't seen one this year. Car's still covered in shit though.

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They scare the other birds away, sit on the kitchen window sill and bash away at it, shit on your car and steal the food out of your plate/hand. Their saving grace is that they're cowards, fly a raptor around and they f**k right off for months and don't come back for months, if not years. Haven't seen one this year. Car's still covered in shit though.


Of course they scare the other birds away - they're the biggest fuckers. And stealing food shows just how gallus they are. Gulls = guid c***s.

(Of all the things I expected to be doing this fine Sunday evening, defending the honour of seagulls was pretty low down the list)
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They scare the other birds away, sit on the kitchen window sill and bash away at it, shit on your car and steal the food out of your plate/hand. Their saving grace is that they're cowards, fly a raptor around and they f**k right off for months and don't come back for months, if not years. Haven't seen one this year. Car's still covered in shit though.

You've got a raptor?!
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Britain's Got Talent

I don't watch this through personal choice but when out visiting a friend it was on.  (Her house, her rules apparently)

When a singer comes on they sing about two notes and the audience start cheering/whistling/applauding. If you shut up we might actually hear if they have talent, keep your cheering/whistling and applauding to the end if deserved.

The judges gave one bloke (hoopman?) 4 buzzers yet he still was voted through. What's the point of the buzzers then?

A young lad came on to sing, preceded with a story about his ill gran which is what his song was about. Never mind the sob story, come on, say your name and sing, level playing field for all. The judges and audience were welling up, IMO he was crap.

Britain's Got Talent it's called so why were four Russian dancers/gymnasts on it. Admittedly they were very fit and very supple but it was hardly promoting British talent.

And we had those talentless twats Kant and Wreck putting in their tuppence worth from the side of the stage.

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3 minutes ago, Fae_the_'briggs said:

Britain's Got Talent

I don't watch this through personal choice but when out visiting a friend it was on. 

The P&B convention is 'friend'.

I assume your favoured entry failed the phone vote,.

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19 minutes ago, Fae_the_'briggs said:

Britain's Got Talent

I don't watch this through personal choice but when out visiting a friend it was on.  (Her house, her rules apparently)

When a singer comes on they sing about two notes and the audience start cheering/whistling/applauding. If you shut up we might actually hear if they have talent, keep your cheering/whistling and applauding to the end if deserved.

The judges gave one bloke (hoopman?) 4 buzzers yet he still was voted through. What's the point of the buzzers then?

A young lad came on to sing, preceded with a story about his ill gran which is what his song was about. Never mind the sob story, come on, say your name and sing, level playing field for all. The judges and audience were welling up, IMO he was crap.

Britain's Got Talent it's called so why were four Russian dancers/gymnasts on it. Admittedly they were very fit and very supple but it was hardly promoting British talent.

And we had those talentless twats Kant and Wreck putting in their tuppence worth from the side of the stage.

^^^ failed an audition IMO

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