Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Swarley]

You've got a raptor?!

[Blootoon87]

They scare the other birds away, sit on the kitchen window sill and bash away at it, shit on your car and steal the food out of your plate/hand. Their saving grace is that they're cowards, fly a raptor around and they f**k right off for months and don't come back for months, if not years. Haven't seen one this year. Car's still covered in shit though.

Scurries are c***s. Get them squarely to f**k.

[Fae_the_'briggs]

12 hours ago, The_Kincardine said:

The P&B convention is 'friend'.

I assume your favoured entry failed the phone vote,.

Wouldn't waste my cash phoning in to this crap.

11 hours ago, LiviLion said:

^^^ failed an audition IMO

Found out. I didn't have a decent sob story. Also all my friends and family had told me I was a born star and pushed me into it. Turns out they were lying b*****ds. If only some of the others that go on the show had been told the the truth too we would be spared a lot of crap acts. Besides anything with those two Geordie twats in it sucks.

[GordonD]

16 hours ago, pandarilla said:

 

My dad's now got a pet seagull. He noticed a one legged gull in his garden a few years ago so he fed her. She kept coming back and it's now a bit freaky how much of a pet it is. It sits on his front fence shouting until he goes out (a few times each day). If he's not in it not going quick enough it goes round the back where if it sits on his shed it can see his chair. Genius.

 

 

16 hours ago, Fae_the_'briggs said:

Firstly, how do you know it's a she?

Because it makes a lot of noise, demands constant attention, and gives f**k all in return.

[Miguel Sanchez]

22 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I've just watched a guy in a mask with a 10kg sack of seeds and a jug throw them all over ten closes' worth of backs. And I've seen a woman who lives in a close opposite me throw out the same stuff regularly. Absolute oddballs, the lot of them.

Just seen the same c**t at it again. Does he not have anything better to spend his money on beside bags of food for the local vermin?

[jmothecat]

Chuggers. One really pissed me off today. Had to stop myself from telling her to f**k off. Only the part at the back of my mind that remained reasonable reminded me that telling people to f**k off, even if they are being arseholes, isn't really acceptable behaviour stopped me.

[SlipperyP]

People who come to Thailand and complain it's hot. Ffs do you not know basic geography.

[irvine_buddie]

22 minutes ago, jmothecat said:

Chuggers. One really pissed me off today. Had to stop myself from telling her to f**k off. Only the part at the back of my mind that remained reasonable reminded me that telling people to f**k off, even if they are being arseholes, isn't really acceptable behaviour stopped me.

What the hells a chugger?

[jmothecat]

What the hells a chugger?

Charity mugger. Those twats who get commission by guilt tripping people into signing up to charities. They are everywhere in Edinburgh.

[irvine_buddie]

Just now, jmothecat said:

 

 

Charity mugger. Those twats who get commission by guilt tripping people into signing up to charities. They are everywhere in Edinburgh.

 

Ah, never heard them called that before. They are annoying as f**k.

[GordonD]

6 minutes ago, irvine_buddie said:

What the hells a chugger?

Charity mugger. One of those people who leap in front of you in the street and try to make you feel guilty for not contributing to whatever worthy cause they're being paid to raise money for this week.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

31 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

People who come to Thailand and complain it's hot. Ffs do you not know basic geography.

They would have been better of learning meteorology instead.

[jmothecat]

I had a job interview to be one when I was a student, basically chummed one for the day. They were absolute twats. They were raising money for Sense Scotland that month (a genuinely worthy charity by the way) and the guy I was buddying said 'yeah when they told us we were getting blind and deaf children I instantly went online and bought a new iPhone, nothing better for getting the old biddies to sign up.'

Got the job, told them I didn't hate myself enough to become one. I liked the idea of working in a way that might help people but found it was purely selling and using charity as the reason to exploit people (particularly older people). I can see why the charities hire these agencies but they really piss me off.

[Hedgecutter]

Folk leaving your office window open over the weekend so that you come in on Monday to find a bird's nest on your bookshelf. F*** sake.

[mjw]

Folk leaving your office window open over the weekend so that you come in on Monday to find a bird's nest on your bookshelf. F*** sake.

One of our guys moved a bin that hadn't been touched for a while last week.
He nearly keeled over when a wee bird flew out.

ETA Signs you didn't expect to see at work thread for this pish.

[Miguel Sanchez]

There's invariably millions of these charity wanks on Byers Road. One tried to stop me one day. "Sorry, I start work in two minutes." "This'll just take one minute." Naw. f**k off.

If I could ever be bothered I'd ask the Shelter folk on Argyle Street what they make of folk building nests out of cardboard and sleeping bags in empty shopfronts a hundred yards from where they're trying to stop folk.

[invergowrie arab]

Some lassie got me stopped one day to talk about donating to amnesty international. I asked her exactly how committed she was to amnesty to be asking me for money at which point she lifted her top up to show me the amnesty tattoo on her back which left me looking a bit of a c**t. I'm still paying my 3 quid a month even yet.

[jmothecat]

Some lassie got me stopped one day to talk about donating to amnesty international. I asked her exactly how committed she was to amnesty to be asking me for money at which point she lifted her top up to show me the amnesty tattoo on her back which left me looking a bit of a c**t. I'm still paying my 3 quid a month even yet.

Ah the fake tattoo trick. A classic.

[Tommy Nooka]

Spreadable butter & soft bread!
The 'spreadable' butter has been out of the fridge for 20 minutes and it still isn't remotely fucking spreadable.

[Miguel Sanchez]

37 minutes ago, invergowrie arab said:

Some lassie got me stopped one day to talk about donating to amnesty international. I asked her exactly how committed she was to amnesty to be asking me for money at which point she lifted her top up to show me the amnesty tattoo on her back which left me looking a bit of a c**t. I'm still paying my 3 quid a month even yet.

Money spent on pointless body decoration which could have gone towards trying to prevent human rights atrocities. Maybe not that committed.