Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Hedgecutter]

On 20/09/2022 at 19:51, DiegoDiego said:

People who use their professional titles outwith their profession.

Guy I know used MFF as a post-nominal on his business cards & email signature for a few years.  Somebody eventually asked him what it stood for, the reply to which was simply "Man fae Forres".

[scottsdad]

Autocorrect on outlook. For some reason, it converted "Be there in a mo" to "Be there in a Mitchell"

Very different meaning.

ETA It just changed "Lewis" to "Rodrigues". What the actual f**k?

Edited September 23, 2022 by scottsdad

[peasy23]

I have posted on here before that one PTTGOMN was the fact that Channel 4 HD on Virgin Media was way down the guide at channel 141. From 27th September it's moving to channel 104, about fkn time.

[pozbaird]

1 minute ago, peasy23 said:

I have posted on here before that one PTTGOMN was the fact that Channel 4 HD on Virgin Media was way down the guide at channel 141. From 27th September it's moving to channel 104, about fkn time.

In a similar vein, there are a couple of things in the Sky+ system that get right on my tits. The major one is the ‘progress bar’ graphic at the bottom of the screen that shows if you are fast-forwarding at 2, 6, 12, or 30 x speed. The major issue with this is that it shows the length of a recorded programme, how long it has to run. Now, if you’ve recorded ‘Bake Off’ or ‘Strictly’, no problem. However, if you’ve recorded a live sporting event to watch when you can, it’s a total pain in the arse.

For example, I recorded last night’s live NFL game to watch this morning as it kicked off at 1.30am our time. As it unfolds, when you fast forward thru the adverts, you can actually tell if a close game goes to overtime or not, because the fcuking progress bar thing shows how little time, or how much time, the recording still has left. Same principal with a live cup ‘soccer’ game that may have extra time and/or penalties. If you’ve managed to avoid knowing the result to watch your recording, in a close game, the progress bar and timing graphic gives a lot away.

You can’t turn it off, all you can do is try to not look at the fcuking thing if you need to pause it or fast forward. In the past, Sky let you record by time, not programme, so you could set the box to record for hours and hours, so the graphic wouldn’t tell you anything as a close game edged towards a conclusion.

Fcuking idiots. Give us the ability to disable it.

[SlipperyP]

Yesterday Milo (Nestle), 

gave promotion (4 folk) to our work staff.

I didn't know it was happening (as always).

500 eyes watching a shite presentation, for me to sent them all al link, (in Thai) of the baby food.

Seeing folk read then walk away was great.

Why in this Nerves thread (boss), told me to stop and banned me from the work group!

I'm back in......

 

Edited September 24, 2022 by SlipperyP

[Leith Green]

14 hours ago, peasy23 said:

I have posted on here before that one PTTGOMN was the fact that Channel 4 HD on Virgin Media was way down the guide at channel 141. From 27th September it's moving to channel 104, about fkn time.

The Virgin tv guide has been a source of annoyance for me for ages - why they havent got the software updated to give the user the ability to put all HD variants at the top is beyone me (because nobody ever said "aye, I prefer watching in SD").

Also, they need checkboxes on the historical series links so we can multi delete.

It seems like basics to me, and suggests they are not properly in control of the software.

 

[coprolite]

The software at my work that stops loading records to come up with a dialogue box to tell me something that's barely compehensible and only has "ok" as an option. If i understood it and decided it's not "ok", then what? 25 minutes intermittently clicking "ok" is a pain in the hoop. 

The wife putting brown sauce in the fridge contrary to my express wishes. 

The name of the actor Timothee chalamet. 

 

[Hedgecutter]

Not petty at all:  Got stung by 9p per litre by going to the Shell garage by the Dundee Kingsway rather than going to the BP garage at Invergowrie. 

188.9 Vs 179.9p.  Seething.

Edited September 24, 2022 by Hedgecutter

[bobbykdy]

2 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Not petty at all:  Got stung by 10p per litre by going to the Shell garage by the Dundee Kingsway rather than going to the BP garage at Invergowrie. 

188.9 Vs 179.9p.  seething.

Arithmetic not your strong point then?

[SlipperyP]

1 hour ago, coprolite said:

The wife putting brown sauce in the fridge contrary to my express wishes. 

I know it's not good in this day and age, but can we get an orderly queue to slap her puss.

(for all the nitwits who don't know me, you can stand in the other queue, I ride your arse, slap you on the way)

[coprolite]

4 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

I know it's not good in this day and age, but can we get an orderly queue to slap her puss.

(for all the nitwits who don't know me, you can stand in the other queue, I ride your arse, slap you on the way)

Feel free. I appreciate your manners in asking my permission. Chivalry isn't dead. 

 

[tamthebam]

3 hours ago, coprolite said:

 

The name of the actor Timothee chalamet. 

 

Was he in Shampoo?

[Granny Danger]

We’re going to be subjected to a tropical storm from today through to Monday.  Whoever is in charge of the weather can f**k right off.

https://www.canarianweekly.com/posts/A-tropical-cyclone-will-bring-rain-and-storms-to-the-Canary-Islands-tomorrow

Mrs Granny has responded to the news by going to the shops and buying milk, vodka and orange juice.

Maybe it won’t be too bad after all.

 

[BFTD]

On 21/09/2022 at 19:10, Richey Edwards said:

I used to be in the school choir and we sang a song about mince pies.

When I was seven or eight, we did this play at school where I was the Prime Minister (because I looked older than everyone else) and we sang this song that I've never heard before or since. I can only remember bits of the lyrics, but it was all about how the government was creased with ennui despite stuffing their faces with high-end grub. Tried searching for the lyrics, but no joy. Bits I remember:

"Love a Roly-Poly, but it's all in vain, here comes the butler with some more champagne"
"No more! No more! Cabinet Pudding is a great big bore!"

It was utter shite, but it bugs me that I've no idea what it was. Hoping somebody's going to tell me it was a viciously witty satire by Noel Coward or something.

[Richey Edwards]

7 minutes ago, BFTD said:

When I was seven or eight, we did this play at school where I was the Prime Minister (because I looked older than everyone else) and we sang this song that I've never heard before or since. I can only remember bits of the lyrics, but it was all about how the government was creased with ennui despite stuffing their faces with high-end grub. Tried searching for the lyrics, but no joy. Bits I remember:

"Love a Roly-Poly, but it's all in vain, here comes the butler with some more champagne"
"No more! No more! Cabinet Pudding is a great big bore!"

It was utter shite, but it bugs me that I've no idea what it was. Hoping somebody's going to tell me it was a viciously witty satire by Noel Coward or something.

Never heard that before.

That mince pie song chorus went:

"You get a happy month for each mince pie

So now I'll be happy for years and years

Because I have mince pies coming out of my ears"

I have never heard this song since.

[BFTD]

2 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

Never heard that before.

That mince pie song chorus went:

"You get a happy month for each mince pie

So now I'll be happy for years and years

Because I have mince pies coming out of my ears"

I have never heard this song since.

We may have both had the same terrible music teacher/frustrated composer.

Did yours also wail like a banshee to drown out the kids during songs, while battering away at the piano like Jerry Lee Lewis?

[Richey Edwards]

9 minutes ago, BFTD said:

We may have both had the same terrible music teacher/frustrated composer.

Did yours also wail like a banshee to drown out the kids during songs, while battering away at the piano like Jerry Lee Lewis?

No, but they made me dress as the green tellytubby.

[BFTD]

3 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

No, but they made me dress as the green tellytubby.

Weren't the Teletubbies all naked?  

[Richey Edwards]

3 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Weren't the Teletubbies all naked?  

It was a daft costume. Myself and the other three poor c***s had to go on stage during the Christmas show, say "eh oh" and giggle at Santa being stuck in a chimney.

[coprolite]

5 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

It was a daft costume. Myself and the other three poor c***s had to go on stage during the Christmas show, say "eh oh" and giggle at Santa being stuck in a chimney.

That reminds me of the story in the evening express about Santa getting into a fight with the Teletubbies in the Bon Accord centre. Apparently children screamed when a teletubbie’s head fell off.

Sounds like you c***s were asking for it. Being stuck in a chimney is no joke.