GordonD Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 1 hour ago, Salt n Vinegar said: HOLD THE FRONT PAGE! DHL has invented time travel! This morning I received an email which includes the following... "Your parcel is due to be delivered on Thursday 04th April 2024" I'll maybe send them a list of things their time machine might sort out after they've delivered my fekkin order. Or maybe before they deliver my parcel, who knows? DHL ripped me off some years ago. I was notified that a parcel was due to be delivered but as I was still working then I couldn't be in to receive it, so arranged for it to be delivered to my neighbour. Never arrived and as he couldn't be at home the next day I had to book a Saturday delivery, for which they charged me an excess fee. c***s. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 I've no idea if that white bread thi g is a joke or not. Is it the same poster who wore new socks every single day? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 On 05/04/2024 at 12:09, Newbornbairn said: The shocking inconsistency in thickness of sliced bread. Big team found 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MazzyStar Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 The bank app telling me I could reduce my carbon footprint by buying second hand clothes. c***s using private jets isn’t what’s important, it’s buying used clothes that will stop climate change. Right enough 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 Guys at the gym who have dumbbell shaped water bottles. Absolute helmets 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieKTID Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 6 hours ago, Unleash The Nade said: Guys at the gym who have dumbbell shaped water bottles. Absolute helmets Dumbbellends surely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 Couple of football related ones: 1. Folk who are relentlessly negative throughout a game, even when their team are winning. 2. Tinpot clubs who run out of hot food. Should be a points deduction for such behaviour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molotov Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 On 31/03/2024 at 20:45, scottsdad said: You guarded trains? From what? Do folk steal them? One of my pals after a Christmas do got nicked by BTP at Glasgow Central trying to take an empty train home as he’d missed the last one running. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 1 minute ago, Molotov said: One of my pals after a Christmas do got nicked by BTP at Glasgow Central trying to take an empty train home as he’d missed the last one running. How the f**k did he get into the control cab? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 On 06/04/2024 at 06:57, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: Old dippit c***s. The same fuckers who stop in doorways or across Isles to blether then tut when you sat excuse me. Hands across the sea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 On 06/04/2024 at 20:05, scottsdad said: Big team found No green wrappers which is ironic seeing as it's " extra thick". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 On 05/04/2024 at 19:04, Bert Raccoon said: Only bread I will eat is original Mighty White I have approx 197 loaves still frozen. I also have 76 unopened boxes of Kelloggs Start Got any Aztecs or a Fuse? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molotov Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 8 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: How the f**k did he get into the control cab? He has a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like you and I. I’ll ask him next time I see him. It ended up in court IIRC. I think due to our (ahem ) employer at the time it was laughed out of court. Daft cnut. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 (edited) The ‘shuffle’ feature for music you have on your devices these days. I’m currently using an app’ called Evermusic, and it is excellent for ease of use, organising playlists, has an excelkent EQ feature… blah blah. However, you’re on a long flight, or whatever sees you listening to your choons, and ‘shuffle’ (even though I have 17,000 plus songs on my iPhone), sees a song by the same artist pop up pretty regularly. To the point where you think ‘this isn’t really shuffling’…. All music playback apps’ I’ve used does the same thing. I read somewhere that the shuffle feature in all music apps’ works like this - say you have 17000 songs, you hit shuffle. The app plays ‘Song 1’, then it effectively ‘starts afresh’ by thinking there’s now 16999 songs to shuffle from. So it cannot take into account anything it has already played. After ‘Song 2’, it once more ‘shuffles afresh’ from a choice of 16998 songs, and so on. I read somewhere that ‘boffins’ are working on these types of apps’ to make them take into account what they’ve already played, and to be more humanlike. In that we think, if you’ve got 17000 songs, and you’ve played one by Foo Fighters, I won’t expect another Foo Fighters song for a good while. Was going to post this as a new thread somewhere, to see if any P&B ‘boffins’ are ITK about AI and this important work being undertaken by worldwide boffins. Get it sorted. Etc. Edited April 8 by pozbaird 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 On 06/04/2024 at 07:19, Swarley said: Was in a garden centre last weekend. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 15 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I know. Didn't even have a cup of tea and a scone in the cafeteria. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 1 hour ago, pozbaird said: The ‘shuffle’ feature for music you have on your devices these days. I’m currently using an app’ called Evermusic, and it is excellent for ease of use, organising playlists, has an excelkent EQ feature… blah blah. However, you’re on a long flight, or whatever sees you listening to your choons, and ‘shuffle’ (even though I have 17,000 plus songs on my iPhone), sees a song by the same artist pop up pretty regularly. To the point where you think ‘this isn’t really shuffling’…. All music playback apps’ I’ve used does the same thing. I read somewhere that the shuffle feature in all music apps’ works like this - say you have 17000 songs, you hit shuffle. The app plays ‘Song 1’, then it effectively ‘starts afresh’ by thinking there’s now 16999 songs to shuffle from. So it cannot take into account anything it has already played. After ‘Song 2’, it once more ‘shuffles afresh’ from a choice of 16998 songs, and so on. I read somewhere that ‘boffins’ are working on these types of apps’ to make them take into account what they’ve already played, and to be more humanlike. In that we think, if you’ve got 17000 songs, and you’ve played one by Foo Fighters, I won’t expect another Foo Fighters song for a good while. Was going to post this as a new thread somewhere, to see if any P&B ‘boffins’ are ITK about AI and this important work being undertaken by worldwide boffins. Get it sorted. Etc. It wouldn't work for me because I can't think of a circumstance that I'd ever listen to The Foo Fighters unless I'd been kidnapped and tortured. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 22 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: It wouldn't work for me because I can't think of a circumstance that I'd ever listen to The Foo Fighters unless I'd been kidnapped and tortured. That could be arranged... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 (edited) The A17. An absolute c**t of a road Edited April 8 by Trackdaybob Smart phone no so smart 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 "Prompt Assistance". Stick on they were running down the clock 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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