Bishop Briggs Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Ant and Dec's ads for Santander. What a pair of talentless, annoying c***s! To make it worse, the Geordie fuckers' ugly faces are plastered on the walls of my local branch. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, KingRocketman II said: that doesn't bother me too much. However folks waiting for 10 min for so in a fairy long queue, gabbing to one another incessantly and then when its their turn say "oh I don't know what I'll have today. Is the Costa Rican roast on this week?" or something to that effect. Boils my piss. You should know exactly what you want and be saying it within a fraction of a second of the word "next". Fuckin die. I swear to goodness this is true - remember that Scottish lassie and her pal from Northern Ireland that got done for being ‘drug mules’ and were jailed in Peru? When she was released and back home, she was stood in front of me in a queue at the Costa in Robroyston retail park. The lassie serving her asked ‘would you like to try our limited edition Peruvian blend? Only 25p extra’. I nearly soiled ma’ breeks. Edited August 2, 2019 by pozbaird 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Ant and Dec's ads for Santander. What a pair of talentless, annoying c***s! To make it worse, the Geordie fuckers' ugly faces are plastered on the walls of my local branch.At least you still have a local branch, ours closed recently, probably to help pay for those 2 fuckers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRocketman II Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 1 hour ago, hk blues said: Stay calm, relax , enjoy life and savour the extra time this minor inconvenience gives you to reflect on how come you have nobody to chat with ^^^^^ "a wee chat with the staff makes my day" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Girlfriends alarm went off at 630 this morning despite neither of us having work today. The cow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 was being watched by the evil b*****ds, it was like a seen from Hitchcock's classic Psycho? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 When you try and be chivalrous and hold the door open for a lassie & some douche guy powers through like you're a fucking doorman. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Doesn’t rhyme, less nostalgic than that woman who’s poetry got shared on here, must do better. I don't remember Lorna sharing a poem about bird shit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 I don't remember Lorna sharing a poem about bird shit. It’d be longer than Tynie’s [emoji6][emoji6][emoji6]Better? Probably as “good”. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 1 hour ago, Tynierose said: A posse of seagulls broke into my food bin this morning. The cars covered in food and craps was driveway. Whilst cleaning it I was being watched by the evil b*****ds, it was like a seen from Hitchcock's classic Anyway the mess is all cleaned up, I've been a nice walk and all is right with the world again. c***s. At least it wasn't your dug they made away with. I enjoyed the recent silly season story about Gizmo the chihuahua who was snatched away by marauding gulls. Obviously bullshit in as much as gulls aren't big enough to carry anything the size of a dog away - even a wee shite one like a chihuahua. They've also got webbed feet and not much in the way of claws - they don't carry anything in their talons because they don't have any. My guess is that Gizmo did a runner having had enough of the endless selfies and having to live in a handbag. His owner (wid, obviously) has decided it's her big chance to get her face in the papers... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 2 hours ago, throbber said: Girlfriends alarm went off at 630 this morning despite neither of us having work today. The cow. ^^^^ throbber made a move for his girlfriend at 6:29 and 50 seconds 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 1 hour ago, Hillonearth said: At least it wasn't your dug they made away with. I enjoyed the recent silly season story about Gizmo the chihuahua who was snatched away by marauding gulls. Obviously bullshit in as much as gulls aren't big enough to carry anything the size of a dog away - even a wee shite one like a chihuahua. They've also got webbed feet and not much in the way of claws - they don't carry anything in their talons because they don't have any. My guess is that Gizmo did a runner having had enough of the endless selfies and having to live in a handbag. His owner (wid, obviously) has decided it's her big chance to get her face in the papers... Maybe they are cross breeding with kestrels. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 2 hours ago, Hillonearth said: I enjoyed the recent silly season story about Gizmo the chihuahua who was snatched away by marauding gulls. Obviously bullshit in as much as gulls aren't big enough to carry anything the size of a dog away - even a wee shite one like a chihuahua. They've also got webbed feet and not much in the way of claws - they don't carry anything in their talons because they don't have any. Maybe it carried the dug in its beak, hanging by the collar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Nae fucking doubt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 10 hours ago, Hillonearth said: I enjoyed the recent silly season story about Gizmo the chihuahua who was snatched away by marauding gulls. Obviously bullshit in as much as gulls aren't big enough to carry anything the size of a dog away - even a wee shite one like a chihuahua. You're right but a chihuahua-snatching gull would get my vote. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 When you pop onto P&B to catch up with events but you can't last five minutes cos the system keeps crashi 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 (edited) 10 hours ago, GordonD said: Maybe it carried the dug in its beak, hanging by the collar. Thing is, a big male herring or lesser black backed gull - either one of which seem to be getting the blame - would top out at 1.5kg max. Birds are ridiculously light in for their size in order to be able to fly. And nothing's going to be able to fly away with something two or three times its bodyweight, especially something putting up any kind of fight. Edited August 3, 2019 by Hillonearth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 (edited) 12 hours ago, GordonD said: Maybe it carried the dug in its beak, hanging by the collar. It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple matter of weight ratios! A 1.5kg bird could not carry a 3kg coconut. Wait...what are we talking about again? Edited August 3, 2019 by Shotgun 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 8 minutes ago, Shotgun said: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple matter of weight ratios! A 1.5kg bird could not carry a 3kg coconut. Wait...what are we talking about again? They might not be able to carry a dug, but they can tell the time. At Petershill v.Shotts (0-5, we're gonna win the league) I seen them further over at a cash and carry site before the game, by about 15 minutes to go they'd moved over and were flying along the front of the stand eyeing up any left overs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 They might not be able to carry a dug, but they can tell the time. At Petershill v.Shotts (0-5, we're gonna win the league) I seen them further over at a cash and carry site before the game, by about 15 minutes to go they'd moved over and were flying along the front of the stand eyeing up any left overs. Wish they had carried some of our players away. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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